Aa
Do I have it?
2 of my 3 children have ADHD. Where does it come from, and why does it affect some people in a family, and not others?
How do I know if I have ADD, or indeed ADHD? I have always been very active, bordering on hyperactive. I am an Artist. I have been working in creative jobs all my life, and always been self-employed, as I don't function well in a 'hemmed in" environment.
My son no 1 is a professional Musician, son no 2 is a professional Photographer. My daughter, who doesn't have it, is a in a leading job in the building industry,(a non-creative job). Is there a pattern in that, in what we do in our profession?
Kind regards,
WellWish
Hi there!
No, my boys were diagnosed many years apart, and I have not been diagnosed at all, I am just guessing I might have 'a touch' of it myself because of the way I am 'made up' and feel.
In any case, I myself am not suffering from it as such. I am merely concerned for my boys (adults now)
No, my boys were diagnosed many years apart, and I have not been diagnosed at all, I am just guessing I might have 'a touch' of it myself because of the way I am 'made up' and feel.
In any case, I myself am not suffering from it as such. I am merely concerned for my boys (adults now)
Thank you very much to both of you, for your answers.
I will look at your suggestions Sandman2, it is always helpful to be recommended what to read and watch, as one can waste an awful lot of time researching things which are, as in this case, very complicated. So again, thank you very much!
Best wishes...
I will look at your suggestions Sandman2, it is always helpful to be recommended what to read and watch, as one can waste an awful lot of time researching things which are, as in this case, very complicated. So again, thank you very much!
Best wishes...
Just so you know, I always interrupt the conversation. Anyway, my son looks just like me so maybe I'm the culprit. In any case, I noticed very early on as well and he was in tutoring starting from age 4 to about 8. In 5th grade had him tested by a very well respected institute and they diagnosed him with ADHD. In my family we call it a learning difference. He just learns different than other people. He does take medication, Adderall, but only when he is in school. He does not take it on the weekends or over the summer. He says it does help him focus.
He has many, many friends, is well liked, and received the citizenship award when he graduated 8th grade. He is always willing to help people. What a sweetheart my son is.
He may have to go to college with an IEP in place. I think that nowadays it is more recognized as a problem. The school he will be attending did not have a special program in place until last year. They know these kids can learn but just differently than others.
I do not blame myself. I turned out all right. I managed to find coping skills on my own. I graduated college. So I just figure I am giving him a head start. He may not want to take the meds down the road....not taking them does not seem to bother him but he does become very forgetful, does not stay on task, etc. etc.
Thanks for the tip on the book Sandman2...I will go and get it.
He has many, many friends, is well liked, and received the citizenship award when he graduated 8th grade. He is always willing to help people. What a sweetheart my son is.
He may have to go to college with an IEP in place. I think that nowadays it is more recognized as a problem. The school he will be attending did not have a special program in place until last year. They know these kids can learn but just differently than others.
I do not blame myself. I turned out all right. I managed to find coping skills on my own. I graduated college. So I just figure I am giving him a head start. He may not want to take the meds down the road....not taking them does not seem to bother him but he does become very forgetful, does not stay on task, etc. etc.
Thanks for the tip on the book Sandman2...I will go and get it.
Hello :)
Firstly, my childrens Father certainly did not have it, so it can only have come from me.
Secondly...I recognise a lot of the symptoms you describe, as fitting the way I feel. I also cannot sit still, I used to excuse my behaviour with a wish to keep my body on the go, as it might help me keep the weight down, by never relaxing. Crazy! Another trait which is 'very me', is that I tend to be impatient in conversations, and have problems controlling myself as to not interfere before people have finished talking, a form of eagerness.
I can cope with the way I feel, where as it is much harder to see the way it affects ones children.
One of my sons has shown signs of 'being different' since he was starting to walk, and I think all in all, it has been a lot harder for me to deal with, than for him to accept something was different. One of the very pronounced characteristics in him is that he is extremely well liked, and has had merits given as best salesperson in more than one job. Another thing is, that he was appr. 26 before he was capable of holding down any job whatsoever, he always wanted to leave, regardless how well he was doing.
I could not get any Doctor to diagnose him with ADHD until after the age of 18, and by then, medical treatment was out of the question (this was in the UK) so consequently, he is not under medical treatment, but is coping now by his own effort, aided by much research on the subject.
My other son has only just had a diagnosis at the age of 40 (in Denmark, I am Danish) I think it has been a very hard run up until his diagnosis, all the years he has been aware that something was not right, but kept it hidden, also from me, until he'd actually had the diagnosis, only then did he come to me and said, that he had the same condition as his brother. He is now under medical treatment in Denmark, and he seem better now that the medication has been adjusted to suit his specific strain of ADHD.
Is your son aware that he is different? Please don't be offended by my expression, `i don't know what else to call it.
It might be a breakthrough for him to be by himself, it might make him see himself more as an individual, not as 'someones son' if you know where I am going? and this in turn might help him to find himself and help himself develop, and hopefully to some extent, grow out of it, or at least learn to live with it.
Also I talk too much ;) so this has to come to an end!
I wish you all the best!
Firstly, my childrens Father certainly did not have it, so it can only have come from me.
Secondly...I recognise a lot of the symptoms you describe, as fitting the way I feel. I also cannot sit still, I used to excuse my behaviour with a wish to keep my body on the go, as it might help me keep the weight down, by never relaxing. Crazy! Another trait which is 'very me', is that I tend to be impatient in conversations, and have problems controlling myself as to not interfere before people have finished talking, a form of eagerness.
I can cope with the way I feel, where as it is much harder to see the way it affects ones children.
One of my sons has shown signs of 'being different' since he was starting to walk, and I think all in all, it has been a lot harder for me to deal with, than for him to accept something was different. One of the very pronounced characteristics in him is that he is extremely well liked, and has had merits given as best salesperson in more than one job. Another thing is, that he was appr. 26 before he was capable of holding down any job whatsoever, he always wanted to leave, regardless how well he was doing.
I could not get any Doctor to diagnose him with ADHD until after the age of 18, and by then, medical treatment was out of the question (this was in the UK) so consequently, he is not under medical treatment, but is coping now by his own effort, aided by much research on the subject.
My other son has only just had a diagnosis at the age of 40 (in Denmark, I am Danish) I think it has been a very hard run up until his diagnosis, all the years he has been aware that something was not right, but kept it hidden, also from me, until he'd actually had the diagnosis, only then did he come to me and said, that he had the same condition as his brother. He is now under medical treatment in Denmark, and he seem better now that the medication has been adjusted to suit his specific strain of ADHD.
Is your son aware that he is different? Please don't be offended by my expression, `i don't know what else to call it.
It might be a breakthrough for him to be by himself, it might make him see himself more as an individual, not as 'someones son' if you know where I am going? and this in turn might help him to find himself and help himself develop, and hopefully to some extent, grow out of it, or at least learn to live with it.
Also I talk too much ;) so this has to come to an end!
I wish you all the best!
I am no expert here but personally I think that if one or both parents have it, then there is a better chance that one or more children will have it.
I am pretty sure my husband has it in that he cannot sit still for very long. He likes to be doing things. He too works for himself. He writes himself lists to keep track of what he has to do and when. They even have times on them.
I also believe that I have it but along with anxiety issues. I work for a major university and when people ask me to do things I write them on a sticky note and wear it on my badge because otherwise I will forget to do it. I am distracted very often. I find myself going into a room and I can't remember what I went in there fore. I ask questions and I dont listen to the answer.
So I do believe that my ADHD son, got it from us. It is more evident in this day and age because remember back to when we were kids. We didn't have all this homework. Life was a lot easier for kids. All they ever said on my reportcard was I talked too much. I still talk too much.
What I am glad to hear is that your children, even the ones with ADHD, have made a path for themselves in life. Sometimes I wonder if my son will get through college. I have him in a special program since he is starting high school. Not special in the way that he will not be with his peers but he will have accommodations for the first time in his life. He will have a person looking out for his best interestes and advocating for him when necessary and that person isn't me for a change.
I am pretty sure my husband has it in that he cannot sit still for very long. He likes to be doing things. He too works for himself. He writes himself lists to keep track of what he has to do and when. They even have times on them.
I also believe that I have it but along with anxiety issues. I work for a major university and when people ask me to do things I write them on a sticky note and wear it on my badge because otherwise I will forget to do it. I am distracted very often. I find myself going into a room and I can't remember what I went in there fore. I ask questions and I dont listen to the answer.
So I do believe that my ADHD son, got it from us. It is more evident in this day and age because remember back to when we were kids. We didn't have all this homework. Life was a lot easier for kids. All they ever said on my reportcard was I talked too much. I still talk too much.
What I am glad to hear is that your children, even the ones with ADHD, have made a path for themselves in life. Sometimes I wonder if my son will get through college. I have him in a special program since he is starting high school. Not special in the way that he will not be with his peers but he will have accommodations for the first time in his life. He will have a person looking out for his best interestes and advocating for him when necessary and that person isn't me for a change.
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What you suspect about ADHD being inherited is true. In, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley she states (p.13) that approximately 50% of the parents with AD/HD have a child with this disorder. By the way, I recommend the above mentioned book a lot because it answers a lot of questions.
Two sites aimed at the adult ADD sufferer that you both might want to check out are totallyadd.com and http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors.
Both sites are done by people with ADD. totallyadd was actually a PBS special and consequently is a series of short videos. Quite entertaining and useful. Jeffs add mind really reflects him. Has much more adult interaction. While both are more aimed at the ADD person, the coping skills given are very useful. I think both sites could help both you and your children. Best wishes.