I agree with you! what works for some doesn't work for another. I refuse to let my step-son suffer at school and then eventually have it affect his life later down the track. Eventually when he is older and more disciplined I hope he can come of meds.
You have the answers ,you are doing what you believe is right for your child.and I guess the other parents that dont want their children to suffer the consequences of side effects from the drugs are also right.and a lot of them find that there is help with out them.
my son used to take meds for adhd that is till the md decided the side effects were too extreme. he was diagnosed adhd at age 4, but it never seemed to fit, at age 10yrs new diagnosis is nld- non verbal learning disorder where the 2 hemispheres don't communicate properly- it is neurological in origin and no med will help this disorder and that is where i started realizing that school said he was always inattentive despite being on different stimulants at the time for like 6 yrs, to see my child with child effects that were so severe that the tics he had were bad to the point they thought he had ocd like behavior and autistic like behaviours when he shuts down it can have the appearance of staring into space, or an outright refusal to cooperate with what one is trying to get him to do. and now realizing what the real issue is...unfortuneatly when there is inattention and hyperactivity, md's don't seem to get past the adhd dx and do not always look for the real cause as in my son's case..his inattention is largely due to shutting down his brain once he becomes over stimulated as he processses information coming at him alot slower than adhd kids do, to some people he looks defiant and behavioural when in actuality it is a coping mechanism for his brain to shut down...
from my experience as well when schools realize that stimulants can control a child they tend not to put appropriate interventions and remediations in place as the need is lower, however i see that once meds are no longer an option, i see how fast that changes because my son needs one to one support, with that he can learn to be productive in class and this is now evident.
i agree that some kids need meds, but when the meds seem not to work maybe an underlying issue is present with add/adhd.
i have an 18 yr old who is adhd and stimulants helped him alot and still do. as a parent i now realize the need for adovating for a child whatever the disorder is.