Does my child have ADHD??

[nighttimeeast29]

My son is 6 years old and in kindergarten. He has no trouble with school academically, and for the most part enjoys the work that gets sent home and the activities that he tells me they do during the day. However, I have gotten several phone calls about his behavior, everything from simply not listening to inappropriate behavior involving other children. He shows signs of ADHD, according to things i've heard from other parents and things i've read on the internet and in books, but I don't like the idea of putting him on medication for something that can only be diagnosed by observing behavior and the boy can't be actually tested for. His more recent and alarming behavior is the inappropriate behavior, and the school counselor is somewhat concerned because he has said things to other children, or involved them in his antics. I have heard he has shown parts of his body that are not to be shown at all in school, tried to flip a little girl's dress up, and a couple other sexual related things. What i've been told tells me he's definitely curious about things, which i don't know if that's normal or not being that he's my first child, but I feel like it's too much. I'm a single mother and he stays with his dad, his dad's girlfriend, and their kids on the weekends that i work. At this point that is the only time he's really out there so he spends the majority of his time at home with me. It's hard for me to answer questions about what he is subjected to when i don't have him 100% of the time, but I can believe pretty strongly that he does not see things he's not supposed to see that any adult is aware of. I am wondering if that complete inappropriate behavior and lack of modesty may be associated with some ADHD symptoms considering he already shows these symptoms in other every day activity. Please give me feedback and don't be shy i can use all the help i can get!! :)
Thanks

[jmk1138]

What do you mean by "every immediate, consistent consequence known to man"?  There are definitely right and wrong ways to go about this.  Also, by this point in time, his learned response to certain stimuli may be so far ingrained that it may take a while to unwind things.  Go to www.caer.com and send a request to take that doctor's survey.

[Sandman2]

   The interesting thing about consistent consequences is that experts say that it needs to go on consistently (meaning a consequence for a particular action everytime it happens) for at least 3 weeks.  This is because you are changing learned behavior, and it takes awhile to change behavior that has been learned.  
   Now if that is not working, then yes - you definitely need to consider that fact that something else may be going on.
   However, I can tell you as a retired elementary school principal that his behavior at school needs to be dealt with by them.  To tell him hours after the fact, that he should not flip up a girls dress is just not going to have any effect.  The school needs to deal with it.  And yes, they definitely should be calling you to let you know what is going on and how they are handling it.   Work on his behavior at home, it might carry over to school.  But the last thing he needs is to get home from school and be punished again.  And frankly, while it may be distressing to you - I am not sure that his behavior at school is all that unusual for a 6 year old intelligent boy.   What will make it unusual is if he doesn't get the message from the school (assuming they are giving consequences), and doesn't change his behavior.  Which leads me back to a point I made originally.  If the school is dealing with this correctly, they should see a change within a month.  In fact, I would say that if he has only recently began exhibiting these problems at school (weren't happening in Oct. for example), then I would expect a change at school.
   You haven't said what he is doing at home.  6 year old boys are an act unto them selves.  It really is a very difficult, interesting age. And the smarter they are, they more they can get into.   That's one reason that I have always regarded kindergarten and first grade teachers with a sense of awe!  If you look at the child behavior section of medhelp under "my out of control 6 year old" you will get a sense what is going on out there.  Homewise, you might want to get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  If you follow Lynn's methods for a month or so and you still are having problems, then yes - it might be something like ADHD.   But honestly, give it a shot.  Its tough being a single parent raising a 6 year old boy.  If you can (and the weather gets better) take him out after school to a park and run him around.  Soccer will be starting in a couple of months - get him involved.    
   I do have a lot of ADHD resources that I can give you if necessary.  Also if there is any specific thing that is driving you nuts, do try posting over on the child behavior forum.  They have a lot of very helpful mothers over there with good ideas.  I kind of get stuck being the Lone Ranger over here and sometimes miss things that they might spot.  Best wishes.

[nighttimeeast29]

i have tried every immediate, consistent consequence known to man, and nothing works.. his behavior is present at home, at the store, in the car, at the park... it's become a problem at school which makes it more apparent that i need to figure out what my next step is ASAP. he has gotten worse recently but has always been a difficult child. it's hard not to punish him for what he does at school when they call me every time he does something and they ask me to talk to him, then send notes home requesting that i follow up on these problems at home. i somewhat agree with u when u suggest that it could hurt more than help, but it's hard because i know that it's difficult for them having to deal with his issues as well as all the other kids in his large class. also i will mention briefly that he's only at this other household 2 weekends a month so i don't know if that's enough to make a huge difference, but i do think about that all the time. i would like more resources, online resources are especially helpful at this point... thanks a lot your comment was very helpful!

[Sandman2]

      "complete inappropriate behavior and lack of modesty,"  can definitely be due to the lack of filters associated with ADHD.   However, it can also be a typical 6 year old boy behavior.
I would make sure that the school is dealing with his misdeeds with immediate, consistent consequences.  If after a period of about 3 weeks, that has not changed his actions, then you have more cause for concern.  
     A child cannot be considered to have ADHD unless it is present in two different locations - school and home.  I may have missed it, but you didn't make it sound like he was much of a problem at home.  
      Also, at this age, don't punish him for what he does at school - it is not only ineffective, it is counterproductive.  Any thing done at home should have immediate, consistent consequences (a timeout).   If he is not responding to the consequences after say a month of them (and they are correctly done), then you may want to consider the possibility of ADHD.  An excellent resource is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
     Opps, going back over your post, I just noticed you said, "considering he already shows these symptoms in other every day activity.   Don't know if you meant at school, home, or both.  If you did mean both - its still possible that the disruption of going to two different households (with probably different discipline styles) is the problem and not ADHD.    Anyway, the book is a great resource and I have a bunch of online resources too. Please feel free to post if you have any more questions.   Best wishes.