Hi, well I do think part of the problem is exactly what you say . . . that you can't get out with him. He most likely needs lots more physical activity than he is getting. He should be outside or at a gym or indoor pool every single day to get that energy out. It has a direct affect on behavior. I realize you have 4 children . . . but such is the life of a busy mom, right? Sometimes we have a child that requires more of us and we have to come through for them, tired or not. Other kids or not. I have two kids that are 15 months apart and my older one has sensory integration disorder. That means I'm out with both boys doing physical activity each day, rain or shine. It has a direct affect on behavior--------- I am telling you. If you take him to a park to run off steam------- who cares if he is a knucklehead. And he will be calmer later.
Sensory and adhd are issues with the nervous system. The nervous system responds to things that calm it and physical activity calms it. Here are some things that work wonders--------- swimming, running, climbing, jumping, crashing into pillows, rolling across the room or down a hill, skipping, swinging, etc. Have him push a laundry basket filled with some items to give it some weight across the floor, carry a bag with a couple of books in it, move a chair, push a wall over (not really, but you go up to a wall and push against it like you are trying to push it over). Have him crawl pushing something. ETC. The point is to have these things for him each and every day. It will help.
He is far to young for an adhd diagnosis which shouldn't happen until the earliest as age 6. There is a book that the expert here recommends "SOS for Parents" by Lynn Clark that goes through the proper steps of time outs. There is another book series of which one is called "hands are not for hitting". It is simple words, clear message and one I'd read to your son. I'd get some books on emotions from the library that use kid language and help him with his words to express his anger. Then I'd work on him with alternatives of what he can do to express it. Using his words calmly, going to a calm down spot, deep breaths, etc. Role play it with him by you acting it out. You must stay very calm with him at all times. If you lose your temper, you are compounding the problem. Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth if you feel like yelling. You are trying to get a pause between anger and action and expressing his emotion/anger/frustration in a better way. How is his speech by the way?
Lastly, you've got a bustling, big family. Make sure he doesn't act out to get your attention. Kids will do that as negative attention is better than none. So switch it and praise the heck out of him when he does something right. Be his cheerleader. goodluck
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 9 years old. Sadly, I have just found out more about the symptoms of ADHD... and it certainly took me by surprise, but did clear up a few things!
This is a great checklist. My therapist first showed me it (a printed version) during my session, and I was able to find it online. I found it to be a wonderful tool, because not every category that they have listed, I would have immediately thought to be related to ADHD/ADD. I also am diagnosed as Bipolar, so some of these symptoms I previously thought were just Bipolar related.
I hope this helps. It certainly opened my eyes a bit, and allowed me to share more information about my past history with my Psychiatrist that he ended up increase my dosage. The higher dosage has worked wonders for previous problems I never knew were related to my ADHD (sensitivity to noise and irritability).
Here is the link: http://www.addresources.org/article_adhd_checklist_amen.php