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How to cope with adult son with defiance disorder

My son had ADD as a child.  Now he is 18 and just graduated from high school.  I am so depressed and don't have the coping skills to deal with him.  I would like to try to have a good relationwhip with him, but it's getting very difficult. He is so negative, argumentative and disrespectful to me. I would really like to try to work things out where we could find some peace, but I don't know what to do.  I think he probably has ODD as I read some of the symptoms.  I'm open to any advice.
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535822 tn?1443976780
Great post jarhead I echo all you said great input and help..
Helpful - 0
944223 tn?1245869858
It's amazing how people automatically call "disorder". If he's 18, then maybe he's normal.You know how many kids acy that way towards their parents?If he was in his 20's, I might agree, but there are to many teenagers being "diagnosed" with this and that these days. Maybe he needs an attitide adjustment.Where's his dad?Have you ever disciplined him, and I mean more than a "time out".Children, and if he acts like a child then he is a child, need structure and discipline. A child that acts out is either mad about something, or is alone and wants attention.As a former Marine and a person diagnosed twice with ADHD, I know the difference.Someone with a disorder like ADHD/ADD doesn't have to be angry..Im not.But, i get very impatient, drive fast, never listen to the same song for more than 30 seconds, always flipping through channels and books, always asking questions about irrelevant things because i'm always thinking of 1000's of questions-that's how people knew I had ADHD.DO NOT say a child has a "disorder" simply because you cannot control them or because they don't like you. Give him a reason to be mad and see what happens. Take away something valuable and see if he calms down.Then you will be able to tell if it's an act, or somethng serious. If you praise him and he still acts an ***, that's just teaching bad behavior.Even dogs are trained that way.
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