I am 42 recently saw a Dr. for symptoms although I have suspected adhd or add for years. I saw a Dr. finally because my symptoms were really starting to affect daily life. I told her I thought I may have alzhiemers because I could not remember anything or focus on important things, I have always felt like I was dumber than other people, have never been able to pay attention well, all my life I have been told I zone out (which I do) that Im an air head, a "real blonde". Have always felt tired and have had no motivation. Been on anti depressents for depression on and off for years. There have been times when I have been really depressed and they have definatly helped but they have never given me motivation like I wish I had so that I could go to college and and have a real career. while in grade school thru middle school counselors would tell me I had tested high on aptitude tests but I would always been failing my classes. I have always, seriously as far back as I can remember, had this nagging feeling that I can never get anything accomplished, always unorganized. My house looks clean as long as you dont look into drawers or closets. I can never keep what I need to do straight! I totally procrastinate all of the time, I have always had problems paying bills even though, for the most part, money was not an issue. It was in the bank, I just never made the bills out. I have had 23 jobs since I was 16 and have gotten fired or quit all of them. I have always had the overwhelming feeling of not being able to focus, concentrate, accomplish anything, or follow through on things.
When I was in my mid 20's I was given some Methamphtimene and it was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. For the first time in my life My brain Worked and I felt normal! I continued to to Meth and it was great for about 2 years then Of course I started abusing it and my life fell apart. I have been clean from Meth for 4 years.
For a year now I have been taking Wellburtin Sr 150 twice a day. I started taking it because I was obsessing about food and had gained 35 pounds and was steadly gaining more. Went to dr and she put me on the Wellbutrin sr 150. I have lost 35 pounds but have always felt the medication made me have bad anxiety.
This past week the dr gave me an AdHd test and I scored a 91, she said anything above a 71 was extreme adhd. She gave me 30 mg of Vyvanse to start out. I have taken it for a couple of days but It makes me feel weird and I guess I can focus better ( i am sitting her writing this long letter) but I have NO energy. just feel ugh and little nervous. ( like I did in last stages of my meth use). I dont feel "depressed" or hopeless. I just feel Dumb and insecure because people look at me as lazy and stupied. I have been reading alot of adhd boards and feel I definatly have the Inattentive adhd. I wish I was hyeractive then I might possibly get something done. I really need some help and any advise on my issue would be greatly appreciated.