Is my 11 y/o sons sexual behavior normal??

[letti01]

My son just turned 11, and here recently got in trouble at school for looking up "vagina" on the schools ipad, I am concerned because hes so young and don't know if this is normal or not. But just today found out hes been making sexually inappropriate comments among his friends and to other students. Ex. two girls on the school bus talking one compliments the others bracelet, she lets the girl try it on then the girl says i like it but it needs to be bigger for me. my son say ewww/gross, you like it big. The girl was offended and told my daughter who was also on the bus but didn't see or hear. These students then proceed to tell my daughter that my son always makes comments like this. Also I'm pretty sure I have caught him fondling himself. I very worried, what is normal, is this normal, where can I take him to get, or what do i do , where do i start?

[nikki28_95]

Adhd medication does cause us to loose weight but that's why we have to go to adhd specialists I was a size 8 taking my meds but the doc said I was the right weight for my age then when I stopped them the weight started to show nothing to be worried about everyone that takes adhd pills gets this an as for his behaviour I strongly suggest taking him to a specialist and starting medication this will calm him down alot as it has for me the specialist will guide you through everything you need to know goodluck

[nikki28_95]

Adhd medication does cause us to loose weight but that's why we have to go to adhd specialists I was a size 8 taking my meds but the doc said I was the right weight for my age then when I stopped them the weight started to show nothing to be worried about everyone that takes adhd pills gets this an as for his behaviour I strongly suggest taking him to a specialist and starting medication this will calm him down alot as it has for me the specialist will guide you through everything you need to know goodluck

[letti01]

Wow, sorry that happened to you. I would never do that to my son or allow anyone else to do it either. I know that he is a growing boy and that eventually the time would come I just was not sure if it was normal at such an early age. I did have a good long talk with him about it being normal to be curious but that remarks like this are not acceptable.

[kirk8]

When you talk with him be sure you don't make him feel like a pervert.  This is a hard subject to discuss with a child.  

A school counselor called me into her office and made me feel like a pervert for making the same kinds of remarks when I was his age.  I still remember how terrible it made me feel (like there was something wrong with me).  It had a profound effect on my psyche, which traumatized me and made it hard for me to build relationships with girls as I got older.  I was so afraid that people would think that I was a pervert.  

I didn't get over the shame that that counselor made me feel until I was in my 20s.

[letti01]

Appreciate the info, we live in a very small town and there are not many resources available. I'm  glad I found this forum. Thanks

[Sandman2]

    By the way, here is a very good link to a site that you might find helpful.
                http://www.addresources.org/?q=node/2014

[Sandman2]

      Yes, children with ADHD do have trouble with impulse control.  And the younger they are - the more control they lack.  So this is not real unusual.  And, it may be its also a kind of attention getting thing.
       Just a quick comment on medication.   As Dr. Charles Parker says, "Go low and slow starting every stimulant medication. Titration, dosage
strategy, is the most commonly overlooked challenge with stimulant medications."  There could be several reasons why you did not see any benefits.  Having either too high or too low a dose would be one of the reasons.  Using the wrong med would be another.  And not knowing what to look for also happens a lot
       It does take trial and error to adjust meds and get it right.  If a pediatrician without much experience or feedback from you was doing the adjusting, then perhaps the right dosage was never found.  Dr. Parker has a lot of information of getting the meds right.  You might want to check out this link just to see how complicated it can be.  
         http://www.corepsych.com/2014/02/adhd-medications-fix-pm-drop-4-mad-drop/

[letti01]

Yes he does, sorry I realized after I posted that I had not mentioned that. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He is not on medication, we did try it for a short period of time but did not see any benefits and he lost quite a bit of weight during that time.

[Sandman2]

   Hi, I am curious because you posted in the ADHD community and not the child behavior forum.  Does your son have ADHD?  Mark's answer is correct, but if you son does have ADHD it would also explain the impulsiveness of his comments, and the trouble that he has controlling what he is saying.