I'm a 22 year old student going to a university. I've been formally diagnosed with OCD and depression. Ever since I got to school, I've been experiencing symptoms that I just assumed was OCD-related, but hearing some friends with ADD talking about their experiences has got me wondering.
When it comes to writing a paper or studying for a test, man, I have a lot of trouble doing it. I usually try to give myself 12-18 hours to write a paper, since I have a lot of difficulty starting it and - once started - I find it really hard to keep my attention focused on it. I don't know how to describe it. It's like my mind suddenly starts overflowing with energy, and I can't keep myself still or focus on anything. If I ignore it, eventually I get so bugged out that I can't do anything except scratch myself or jump up and down. It sounds stupid, but it really *****. It makes me feel like I'm losing my mind, since I can't get it to cool down and focus.
It gets a lot worse when I'm more stressed out, or when I haven't had decent sleep. When I'm in the middle of an OCD attack, it also gets worse, which makes me think it might be just a manifestation of the OCD?
I find my classes to be really easy; I can't ever focus on lectures so I don't usually go to them, but I get good grades (especially since a lot of classes just repeat the same info over and over). I'm also doing research, and when I turn stuff in my instructors seem to like it. It's just getting there that is like hell for me. I can't take classes that have something to be done each week; for those classes I always forget to turn in weekly homework (or post discussion questions or whatever). I have a desk job, but I get a lot of the same issues; my boss used to call me out on it (since it would be hard for me to give my 100% focus on a task for an extended period of time), but now he knows not to look over my shoulder and I'll get it to him.
I've been in a couple of relationships, and it's been a problem there too. I can't ever remember certain holidays (Valentine's Day is probably the worst), birthdays, or just random events/facts that they ask me to remember. One guy broke up with me because I couldn't ever remember to text him as much as he wanted. Sometimes I do this thing where I "check out" of a conversation. I don't know how to describe it; it's like I'm there one second, then in my head the next, and then suddenly back in having missed a bit. Usually I can get away with it, but sometimes they'll ask be a question and I can't answer it, and it makes me look stupid.
I've been to the health clinic here, and they tell me that it can't be ADD since it doesn't negatively impact my grades. They think my symptoms (including my OCD) stem from depression, so they've put me on anti-depressants for a number of years now, with results ranging from nothing to making me suicidal. They tell me I just need the right combination of pills, but I'm questioning their explanation, so that's why I'm here.
Sorry for the novel. Any thoughts?