Kindergarten student called ADD

[LaceyH]

My son is 6 years old. He started Kindergarten this year and has so far been doing alright. My son has a bit of a temper, but only when pushed past a certain point. For the most part though everybody loves him and are 'buddies' with him. My son has always been the kind of boy that likes to make people happy by goofing around and making himself look like the class clown. From day one I informed his teacher of his behavior with the goofing around to the temper, but now his behavior is getting worse. For the last three weeks he has been acting out in class, from running around laughing to yelling at his teacher. I have received notes from the teacher saying that he was disruptive, he was running around the class room, to off task. Today i received a referral of discipline from the principal, i guess my son told his teacher that he wanted to punch her.

My son has never before threatened anybody, nor has he hit anybody. Except for his sibling squables with his 4 year old sister, I've never had a problem behavior wise with him. I have sat in in the class room and I can understand what is going on discipline wise. She threatens and then threatens again and then after she has had enough she changes their 'behavior color'. Personally i think the teacher is crazy, i have yet to say anything though. Everyone at the school is now 'hinting' that i my son is ADD. they constantly tell me that he is always off task, that he can't sit still and he is constantly disrupting the class room. I'm so frustrated at this. How can he be one way at home and a whole different way at school. I believe that the teacher is making excuses because she doesn't want to work with my son anymore and she could just say that ADD fits and that is why he isn't learn. But i know for a fact that his teacher doesn't ever pay any attention to him, except for when  he is running around being disruptive.

Before three weeks ago, he was fine and now he is having all these behavior problems. I just don't understand why they have to push the ADD thing.

[dai3symae]

Hi,  I'm a teacher and the parent of an ADHD child.  I understand this issue from both sides.  I have had many students with ADD/ADHD (both with and without meds) and this is what I've learned....I don't do your child any favors by not addressing behavior problems and neither do you.  A kindergarten student at this point in the school year shouldn't be running around the room, yelling at adults or threatening to punch adults.  The question to ask is why is it happening?  Most of the time, in my experience, kids act out because they don't understand something....acting out covers up not knowing.

A cautionary tale....I had a student in 3rd grade...cute boy....each year the teachers told the parents that the boy was having academic problems, was disruptive, had a temper was ADHD.....which the parents ignored....by 3rd grade he couldn't do the work even with extra help....in 4th grade he punched the volunteer who was working with him.....by middle and high school he was overwhelmed, frustrated and uncontrollable   BTW...he had perfect manners around his parents....they didn't demand what he found so difficult to do.

My ADHD son was never medicated but...we worked with the teachers and used behavior contracts through high school.  It was hard work and not always fun.  Today he is a college graduate.  Not perfect....but getting there.

My last bit of advice....go talk to your child's teacher, ask why she thinks ADD, get examples of behavior, ask when the behavior doesn't happen and when it does.  Ask to use a behavior contract (you'll have to impose consequences at home which isn't always pleasant)....remember teachers observe behavior; only doctors diagnose

Good Luck to you both

[portuguese mom]

You need to post your question on the Expert/Professional Child Behavior Forum.  The doctor on that site will give you honest opinion about what to do with his behavior.  ADD/ADHD symptoms usually show up both at home and at school.

[Ravare]

Teachers push the ADD thing because it leads to you getting your kid medicated which means less stress for them.

I have been through this with my 6 year old stepson. He was in Kindergarted and his teacher only payed him attention when he was acting bad. My wife does the same thing.........so in turn, my stepson acts out in bad behavior because he knows it will get him attention. However when he is home with me alone he can be calm and quiet and I never have to lecture him.

If this behavior just started, then I wouldn't really consider ADD at this point. Alot of young kids have little temper issues, but sometimes that stems from them being frustrated about something in their life, yet they do not have the words to voice what is bothering them yet, so that results in temper outbursts.

Does your son's teacher give him attention when he is acting good? Maybe his teacher just isnt a good fit for him. How is he at home? Does he act wild and run around laughing all the time and disrupting things at home?

From what I read, I doubt your son has ADD, but im no expert, just speaking from my point of view.