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ADD / ADHD Community
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1059647 tn?1255039454

LD? I feel more lost than before

I have ADHD, that one I'm ok with. When I was 10 they said I was also dyslexic. No one ever told me much or did much about it, so I never really worried about it. Then in college I wanted to get accommodations and they said all my testing was too old, so I spent $1000 on ADD and Learning Disorder tests to be told I still got it. But when I was getting the LD testing I was nervous because my parents always downplayed my dyslexia, saying that I was mild at worst. I worried they would tell me I dont have it, and that I was just a slow reader and a moron in math. Afterwards they told me I'm in the 89th percentile in verbal intelligence (higher verbal intellect than 88% of the population), but in the 5th percentile in information processing (slower/worse than 95% of the population). A huge gap that proves I have a learning disorder.
Except that was it. LD. No dyslexia or any other label to explain myself. I kept asking for a name, but no one could give me one. He said dyslexia is an outdated term, and that it doesnt really describe my symptoms anyways. I asked what does, he said that there really isnt a term, I just have deficits in math and reading. Deficits... as in I'm deficient... or bad at? Before I had something I could call it. I liked being able name it, it made it not my fault. Now all I have is "deficient". I feel like its just another way to say I am naturally stupid. Isnt that what stupid is? Naturally incapable of "getting it"? I dont know anymore. I wish I had a name for it again, I wish I never got tested.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
I am looking forward to hearing others responses to this. My son is 9 and has trouble reading and with math. He is also very active and can not sit still. We are presently going through testing via the medical doctors and also alternative to see if this can be controled by food instead of drugs. I do not think he is ADHD but I would like to find out what his (and yours) "defect" is.
I believe I am dyslexic in that I switch numbers around when reading them. I found it surprising that the person said this term was outdated !
I agree with you, I would rather be "labled" with dyslexia than "diagnosed" with a "defect" !
Looking forward to others responses!
Thanks you
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hey Mightymouse,
  The only person with a "deficient" is the psyc who did the testing, took his money and ran.  You should have gotten a much better explanation than that.
  First check out this post.  Look for the Sept 22 post at 9:39 and compare her sons test results to yours.
  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/GRADE-3-SCHOOL-BUT-MOM-THINKS-SHE-SHOULD-REPEAT-GRADE-2/show/1053254?post_id=post_4901179
  
  Look familiar?  
Your results and his are very typical of people with ADHD and good intelligence.  The reason you sucked at math and reading was simply because, while the other kids were getting the fundamentals - your mind was somewhere else.  There is really nothing else in school like math.  You miss the initial concept and you are in deep mud everytime that step comes up.
  I used to hear the term dyslexia a lot.  Not so much anymore.  Your ADHD could have easily been the cause of your reading problems.  Check out this link from good ole Wikipedia.       http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyslexia.
  If your reading skills have gotten better  then the ADHD was probably the primary cause and you have learned  to adjust.  
  Your major problem is (in my opinion)  that your were (and I am sure still are) a intelligent girl.  If you had been a hyperactive boy, pulling D's - you would have gotten some help in hopefully understanding what is causing the problems. Read more of the posts between PatSue and myself to get a take on this.
  I highly recommend you read - a new book by a UC Berkley honors student with severe  ADHD about growing up with ADHD.  The book is  called - "ADHD and Me,  What I learned from lighting fires at the dinner table," by  Blake Taylor.    Basically, "the Cal freshman tells how he made the ADHD work in his favor."   Two other good books  are - "Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell, and "The Gift of ADHD", by Honos-Webb.
  Finally, being tested was important.  You now know you have ADHD.  This is not something to be just "OK" with.  It is something that can be conquered.  But to do that, you have to understand it - "know your enemy".  I still can't believe you got tested and no additional help.  That's like a doctor saying you have high blood pressure - "Good Luck".  The only deficit you will have or the only way you will seem stupid is if you roll over and just accept this.  I've got a feeling that you don't have the "mightymouse" nickname for nothing.  So get those books, find out more about ADHD and quit beating yourself up (well, maybe smack that tester around a bit).  
   Let me know if you have any other questions.  There have been some other posts on this forum that deal with adult ADHD or from college kids that can be helpful.  
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!
Avatar universal
I agree with Sandman2 about the MightyMouse nick name... for me he was always my hero... the total underdog so to speak... but he was always there to save the day.

A disorder is something that dis'es the order of things. It's not a life sentence to being stupid. Stupid is what stupid does and and usually stupid does nothing. You even asking for help or questions proves you aren't stupid.

Me? I don't do math simply because it's too hard! I missed the day or days when it was supposed to make sense and so I faked it when I could and used a calculator when I couldn't. I also round up a lot or count by 10's... hee hee...

Reading was always something I did well. I fact it was the only way to get me to be still. But that's not always the norm. It was my hyperfocus and I still have to read everything that comes along, at least I don't read them out loud anymore, but it's great when everyone else isn't paying attention and I am in some small way... Hmm...

I hope you see that you are not alone. We all have gifts that very with ADHD. I'm sure you have yours. Focus on them and don't let a stupid doctor tell you what a test says as it's just his opinion of the results. Obviously he didn't ask the right questions or care enough to help you figure out a way to work with your "deficiencies" which is another way to say your just a little mouse and you can't do anything special... Ha! we know that isn't true now don't we? hee hee...

Keep us posted as to what happens. There are those of us out there that have made it through and still are for that matter.  Glad you found us and hope you stay and become great friends!
Cheers, Tamra
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
Very well said Tamra,
    Its those of you that have "made it through", and are still contributing to this forum that are so important.
Avatar universal
Thanks Sandman2, even ADHD'rs have moments of clarity.. hee hee... and no matter who we are, we are all going through stuff and coming out the other end... I'm just tired of being chopped meat... I prefer to be prime rib or choice steak.

I was talking with another friend who is dyslexic and one of her kids is as well. They were able to find a doctor who understood the problem and recomended a private tutor to help her kid slow down and comprehend what they read. Now a days, it's easier to just memorize the words, read them but not be able to understand what the concept is that you are reading about. For some ADHD'rs, slowing down it a huge issue, but one thing I learned early on is that if you make your mind go where you are reading, take in all of the details, it's amazing how much more the stories come alive. I've never met a story I didn't like, although I've come across some that were so slow to get the reader engaged that I didn't finish them. The ones that kept my mind going, that challenged my memory regarding facts told previously, were the ones that I could not put down. It was my way of escaping and I guess coping with life that was out of control for me at times.

Who knows what makes each of us tick except ourselves? And if we are guided to find out what that is, how to manage it and how to succeed with it, then we are all mighty in one way or another, now aren't we?

Cheers, Mighty Mouse... keep up, keeping up, up and away! oh wait, was that superman's voice I heard in my head instead? Hee hee....
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