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MY SON WITH ADHD POSS. ODD? HOW TO DISIPLINE.
by SHHUGA, 13 hours ago
my son has been diagnosed with adhd but is pending further testing from our local childrens hospital, he is a regular 5 yr old boy at home with a few problems that dont seem too bad but at school he is a constant disruption to the students and staff he is hitting , pushing, tackling other children. yelling and arguing with the teachers, he hit kicked at and bit a teacher the day before yesterday, he is now suspended from school for 4 days because of his aggressive behavior. i have tried to take away his favorite things i have tried spankings i really dont know how to disipline him anymore. he seems so confused about why he is doing the things that he is doing and is really upset about not being able to go to school, he tells me that he tries to have a good day and then "something" just messes it up. he is prescribed adderall and it seems to have no effect on him. he only weighs 44lbs and cant get the dosage up'd . he needs some type of punishment but i dont want to punish him for something if he cant control it. or hasnt been taught how to control it. we have talked about what to do when he gets angry IE; counting to 10, walking away. etc...i ask why didnt you do what we discussed he says he forgot to do it. we talk EVERY morning about his behavior and anger and still by 9 or ten the teacher is calling. i dont know what to do. he is on a waiting list for further behavioral testing and conselling.
my son has been diagnosed with adhd but is pending further testing from our local childrens hospital, he is a regular 5 yr old boy at home with a few problems that dont seem too bad but at school he is a constant disruption to the students and staff he is hitting , pushing, tackling other children. yelling and arguing with the teachers, he hit kicked at and bit a teacher the day before yesterday, he is now suspended from school for 4 days because of his aggressive behavior. i have tried to take away his favorite things i have tried spankings i really dont know how to disipline him anymore. he seems so confused about why he is doing the things that he is doing and is really upset about not being able to go to school, he tells me that he tries to have a good day and then "something" just messes it up. he is prescribed adderall and it seems to have no effect on him. he only weighs 44lbs and cant get the dosage up'd . he needs some type of punishment but i dont want to punish him for something if he cant control it. or hasnt been taught how to control it. we have talked about what to do when he gets angry IE; counting to 10, walking away. etc...i ask why didnt you do what we discussed he says he forgot to do it. we talk EVERY morning about his behavior and anger and still by 9 or ten the teacher is calling. i dont know what to do. he is on a waiting list for further behavioral testing and conselling.
Let your son do this pranayam for 5 minutes, 3 or 4 times a day. Do it with him in a funny way. This will calm the brain down with the extra oxygen going into left and right brain, in turn. It will also improve the memory. Also tell the school, to encourage him to do this pranayam.
Build up your timing gradually.If you feel tired or dizzy, stop and resume after one minute.
Anulom Vilom pranayam –
Close your right nostril with thumb and deep breath-in through left nostril
then – close left nostril with two fingers and breath-out through right nostril
then -keeping the left nostril closed deep breath-in through right nostril
then - close your right nostril with thumb and breath-out through left nostril.
This is one cycle of anulom vilom.
Repeat this cycle for 15 to 30 minutes twice a day.
Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
You can do this before breakfast/lunch/dinner or before bedtime or in bed.Remember to take deep long breaths into the lungs.You can do this while sitting on floor or chair or lying in bed.
Also at home, close eyes and close ears, breathe in and then hum like a bee while breathing out. Do this 5 times.
February 27, 2011
Build up your timing gradually.If you feel tired or dizzy, stop and resume after one minute.
Anulom Vilom pranayam –
Close your right nostril with thumb and deep breath-in through left nostril
then – close left nostril with two fingers and breath-out through right nostril
then -keeping the left nostril closed deep breath-in through right nostril
then - close your right nostril with thumb and breath-out through left nostril.
This is one cycle of anulom vilom.
Repeat this cycle for 15 to 30 minutes twice a day.
Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
You can do this before breakfast/lunch/dinner or before bedtime or in bed.Remember to take deep long breaths into the lungs.You can do this while sitting on floor or chair or lying in bed.
Also at home, close eyes and close ears, breathe in and then hum like a bee while breathing out. Do this 5 times.
February 27, 2011
I think that therapists are often at a disadvantage because they do not have direct exposure to the home environment. My daughter, a behavioral therapist, handles her young patients in their homes. This is often revealing and helpful. Not everyone, even with the best intensions, is good at parenting.
Thank you so much for the book referrals I will get them. I am currently giving him tasks that get him frustrated easily and he came up with tapping his nose :) which "might take his mind off of being angry. Also closing his eyes and imagining things he likes (monkeys was his suggestion) I can tell that this is going to be quite the task but my mind is now grasping the concept of what needs to be done. I'm optimistic. I'm going to the school tomorrow and fighting to get him back in even if I have to b there with him because I don't want him to miss out on 3 days of learning based on something he hasn't been taught to control. I just want to say for other parents facing this the most difficult part of the process is letting other people tell you to spank, take every thing away...etc. it baffles me that people with no clear view of what's going on are so quick to want to punish these children with out trying to understand or fix what they are dealing with. I fought and am currently fighting battle after battle on what I'm doing wrong and how I need to be more harsh with him, this advice is coming from family members and friends who only see small pieces of the situation. The teachers, doctors and myself see that this is a bigger issue than "he's being bad"
COMMUNITY LEADER
Check Shhuga's original post over on the child behavior forum and you will get some more information about her situation which may also help with giving her more ideas.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I responded back to your post on the child behavior forum. Gave some important ideas about working with the school, so make sure you go back and read those.
I am glad that you are talking with him about what to do when he gets angry. What you also need to do is to practice it - a lot. Make up situations at home, have him count to 10 and walk away. Surprise him - "say you are angry, count to 10" Do this a lot. As with anything, if it is done enough times at home, it will carry over to school. There is also a pretty good book aimed at 4 to 7 year olds called "hands are not for hitting" Buy that when you get "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley (both available through amazon). Start reading the hands book to him and then read it again and again.
By the way taking his favorite things away is counterproductive for something done at school or even home at this age. Any behavioral change technique at this age must be immediate (timeouts). He is to young still to associate the loss of an item to something he did 4 hours ago. Or to realize his favorite toy is gone because he did something (which he can't remember doing) three days ago. The thing that you need to remember is that you are trying to change a learned behavior. It doesn't happen overnight! In fact it will take about 3 weeks of consistent reinforcement to change. Many times parents give up on timeouts too soon because they expect more immediate results. The key to working with ADHD kids is structure, immediate consequences or praise, and learning how and when to pick your battles.
I am glad that you are talking with him about what to do when he gets angry. What you also need to do is to practice it - a lot. Make up situations at home, have him count to 10 and walk away. Surprise him - "say you are angry, count to 10" Do this a lot. As with anything, if it is done enough times at home, it will carry over to school. There is also a pretty good book aimed at 4 to 7 year olds called "hands are not for hitting" Buy that when you get "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley (both available through amazon). Start reading the hands book to him and then read it again and again.
By the way taking his favorite things away is counterproductive for something done at school or even home at this age. Any behavioral change technique at this age must be immediate (timeouts). He is to young still to associate the loss of an item to something he did 4 hours ago. Or to realize his favorite toy is gone because he did something (which he can't remember doing) three days ago. The thing that you need to remember is that you are trying to change a learned behavior. It doesn't happen overnight! In fact it will take about 3 weeks of consistent reinforcement to change. Many times parents give up on timeouts too soon because they expect more immediate results. The key to working with ADHD kids is structure, immediate consequences or praise, and learning how and when to pick your battles.
Adderall is apparently not the answer if it is not helping. In any case it is a very dangerous drug. Is there anything in his home life that could account for his behavior? How is anger expressed in the home (we all get angry, don't we)? Is he on a high sugar diet? This can cause a child to be hyper and irritable. If he has siblings, how does he behave towards them?
You should be seeing a therapist, if you aren't already. The therapist should have the opportunity to see interaction within the home.
You should be seeing a therapist, if you aren't already. The therapist should have the opportunity to see interaction within the home.
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