ODD Anger

[naysey]

I have a 9 yr old son with ADHD ODD & LD. He is so angry at school his anger outbursts have started to turn quite violent. I am the only one who can calm him down so I am constantly at the school. So far behind with his schooling. He has been like this for 3 yrs. HELP!!! He was on Ritalin no on slow release concerta 36mg. Helps the adhd a little not much. But its the anger I need to get under control. Have asked dr after dr but everyone just brushes me off!!! PLEASE HELP

[kh4otickitt3n]

I agree with you about homeschooling but it could be an option. He will learn more at home and wont fall behind in school and he can socialize with other peers around the neighbourhood and play groups/dates. All he is going to get from school is the sense of battling rejection and un-acceptance.

Nothing sets off a child faster than being un-accepted or ignored by someone they acknowledge as a equal. I am not saying homeschool is the only way. I would not homeschool my children but I can't deny and act like it was never an option at one point. why did I keep my son in school?? For social reasons but my child doesn't have anger episodes. Anger is not accepted in the school system and I just fear  putting a angry child in the hands of a school system will only hurt him more. He doesn't deserve to be treated with neglect and irresponsible teachers which in the end will label him as the "kid who cant control his anger" is worse than being labelled with a learning disability...teachers don't make time for children anymore. It's sad....as a parent I would want to protect my child's feelings and understanding of what and why this is happening to him above his social life within the classroom walls.

Secondly, I do angry with the finding something the child can play with in his pocket when he feels himself getting angry. The child has to believe it will work for him and usually it should be established at home  first. Maybe  the mom could make up a story about how she always gets mad and he isn't the only one... and she can pass on  what works for her. now only will he listen but he will feel like he shares that in common.

[jnep]

A friend of mine has a daughter who used to have a short fuse and throw really bad tantrums, bad as in she would throw anything she could get her hands on and scatter and destroy anything that was in her path. She found an after school center that works with children who have special needs and spoke with the clinical director. From what she told me, the treatment was very parent-involved. They taught her techniques on how to handle her daughters behavior when she wasn't at the center. They also did in-home sessions to see how her behavior was at home. My friend seems less stressed out and her daughter seems more calm than before. So if your doctor is just going to brush you off, maybe you should look into outside resources. My friend has had a very positive experience with the facility now. Here's their website if you were interested about their services: www.learningandbehavioralcenter.com

They're located in Tarzana, CA but I don't think it will be a problem if you're not in the area. My friend was able to keep her weekly appointments with the clinical director via skype/telephone while the clinical director was flying to other states doing in-home session with her outside clients.

I hope this helps. I haven't experienced this first hand but I've seen the toll it can take on a parent. Best of luck :)

[AirDryad]

I do not agree with the person above about home schooling your son. How is he going to learn to socialize if he's not allowed to? Anyway, I understand your pain. My 8 year old is also ADHD with anger issues as well. Just this morning she kicked her brother in the face because I told her she couldn't have a cookie then shoved past me to the bathroom because and I quote "I was in her way." It is not easy to have a child who lashes out. A few things I have read online and that I am going to try is this...

Provide the child with an outlet for his anger. Stress balls, feathers and clay can provide productive outlets for children when they become angry. By touching these soft, squishy objects, the child can calm his nerves and regain composure. If anger persists, provide your child with a pocket-sized diversion, and encourage him to utilize it whenever he feels himself getting out of control.

I don't know if that will help your son, but its worth a try. Good luck! I hope he finds his way out of his anger.

[kh4otickitt3n]

I have a friend with a son with ODD and ADD. I don't know much about ODD but know my fair share about ADHD.

I would suggest  maybe altering his IEP and  if he doesn't have an IEP get one.  He will need an accommodated IEP and lots or attention, try switching schools. Some schools are better set up for children with ODD and ADHD.  You could also try homeschooling or a private tutor a couple of days a week. There are a few websites that can help with getting your  child caught up with his education and books you can buy. Kids want to learn some are just a little more reluctant at the beginning.  Stay consistent and try to remain positive, ODD isn't easy to handle nor is it easy to explain to teachers and peers. I wish you luck and hopefully you find a better school to help accommodate your child.

Keep in mind:
All it takes is one teacher to really appreciate the educational system and after you are positive about school your child will follow. If your child struggles with social cues, you can help by reading/talking daily to your child about personal space/bubbles, also read stories about problem solving and social events. This helps a lot when a child can relate to a character in the story.