Please help me with my child

[supermom9903]

My 5 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder when he was 3. He is extremely hyper, forgetful, completely unfocused, and a terror to deal with. He has severe breakdowns if he is not with me and cannot adjust to anythin new- schools, routines, people. My family has nicknamed him the Tornado. He has been on several medications since his diagnosis- Daytrana, Adderal XR, Focalin, Clonidine, Metadate. All work for the first week, then nothing. He has a very high metabolism and the medication doesnot last long. The daytrana worked the best,however the patch would never stay on. He has been seeing a therapist for two years now and due to his age I have been told that there is not much that can be done because his mind is going too fast to comprehend and understand anything that is taught to him and he does not remember any behavioral techniques we are trying to teach him. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences?

[SueNYC]

We winded up on Tenex (after aboiut every other drug in the book) - for awhile. Now he isn't on anything.  He goes to a school designed for children with neurobiological disorders - and his ADHD was off the charts.  His executive dysfunction was in the single digits.

I hope you have started the IEP process - and are getting your own private testing done.  It is sad to say but I can assure you that the school district is more concerned about their bottom dollar than your child's needs.  We ended up going to an IEP trial after they agreed to pay for private school.  For some reason, they wanted  to send a kid with a 150 IQ to a school designed for severely learning impaired and children who were deemed mentally retarded.  ANyway, in the end, we won a NYC had to pick up our school which was 50K.

But we did it bu getting a neuropshyc (which is not a psycho-ed that the school gives you), by keeping detailed correspondence of every incident that happened at school (Timmy had a bad day should never be an ok explanation), and eventually hiring an excellent advocate.

If you think your son is driving you crazy - then expect to be hearing it from your school.  If he is as bad as you say - the worst is yet to come so be prepared.  

The other thing is not to let ADHD be an excuse for everything - even though we wage war every night (and for two years he refused to do any work in school) I still made him stay on his work every night (with alot of breaks).  I truly wonder if all these kids with ADHD have learning disabilities or their parents weren't willing to spend the three or four hours a night dragging their rear ends back to the table.  

We spent two years in parent training (he was also ODD) and now he is pretty well behaved.  The massive tantrums have almost stopped.  They hyperactivity has calmed down (though the internal distractions are always there),  He is in a class with 5 other students, a special ed teacher, and two aides.  Every day I get a full report so we can nip problems before they begin.    

I don't mean to scare you - but his doctor - who is one of the leading clinical psychologists studying ADHD - points out that in severe cases my son is one of the success stories.  Even if they are bright - they tend to get lost in the muddle - with about 75% of them having severe academic consequences.

We spent alot of time working with a lot of great doctors and special ed advocates.  Heads up - it saved our family.  Now we are thinking of letting our chils try to qualify for the John Hopkins CTY program - I could have never thought of tht three years ago - so it gets better.

  

[PhenomenalWoman]

My son was diagnosed with the same disorder around the same age.  What I had to do in order to cope with it was to read up more about it and get alot of support.  The key to any child especially with ADHD is to keep them active.  My son use to be on straterra but now he's grown out of it.  My son is now 11 soon to b 12 and he's alot more calmer than when he was younger.  At the age of 5 my son would run pee wee track for our church...lol!  Can you imagine a 5 yr old running 2 laps around a full track without stopping!  He enjoyed it and I loved it because by the time we would get home and I would get him feed and ready for bed....let's just say he never gave me any problems....lol.  Sometimes he would be so tired he would put himself to bed without me reminding him!

I had alot of help from my church and you be surpised how you're not alone.  Although some people are very scenical about medicating their child but only you know the truth and they don't have to deal with it.  I had alot of problems with the school system and being able to keep a job because of being called everytime for a meeting that seem to get us no where.  Not to alarm you but it can and sometimes get worse but what matters is that you stay up with the laws that protect your child under the special needs.  There's disability offered for these cases, support groups, mentoring (which my son received thru the state when I was single), counseling for you and him because it takes it toll on you and your social life.  There are also sitters that will come to your house to give you a break thru disability/ADHD.  Now my son is in football and martial arts and has met alot of young boys who has the same condition.  I hope this helps and what ever you do find some SUPPORT don't try to do it all yourself!

[LRM1021]

There are several other medications that can be tried-- I know its a lot of trial and error, but thats why there are so many medications available. It sounds like his case is pretty severe-- and he needs some medication in order to be able to respond to the behavioral techniques. His age is tough, too.  One other thing-- if he has anxiety, many of the ADHD meds contribute to anxiety. All the meds you mention (save for Clonidine, which is prescribed off label at the time for ADHD) are stimulants -- which can make anxiety symptoms worse. I have read that for children with severe anxiety and ADHD medications like Strattera, or other antidepressants/ antianxiety medications, can often be much more beneficial than standard stimulants.


I would try some additional medications to see if you can find one that works.
I would also try to involve him in martial arts or swimming- -some other type of physical activity that will encourage control, and will also allow him an outlet for his physical energy. It has helped my son a lot.