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515836 tn?1212107584

Please tell me what's wrong?

My son is 4.  When my son was 1 he use to sneak out of the house.  I mean the neighbors would knock at my door and ask if I lost someone.  I only went to the bathroom it was that fast.  We had to put locks on the top of the doors to keep him from getting out.  Everything would go in his mouth.  I mean everything it did not matter what it is.  He is 4 and still everything goes in his mouth.  Its really bad when we are in crowds of people around.  Its like an anxiety.  He didn't talk until he was 2yrs old.  But when he did started to talk it was normal.  He is very distructive.  He beaks everything.  When he gets into trouble he has no facial expressions, no remourse for what he did, no crying, its almost as you are talking to a wall.  We tried to take things away from him that he loves the most.  Like his bike, my husband took his bike away for two days because he did not listen very well.  His bike is his world.  His response was "dad did you put my bike up?" Also, Just after Christmas he just got new toys that he wanted desperately his room was a complete mess.  I asked him to help me pick up the toys.  He just refused so, I told him that if he can't take care of his toys then we will have to throw them in the garbage or give them to someone who will take care of them.  So I started to put them in a box and he helped me.  He said I don't need them.  I put them outside on the garbage cans and it sat there all day and overnight.  He did not care.  He did not even think about them ever again.  What kind of 3yr old does not get upset at that kind of thing?  He doesn't like to eat.  Especially at the dinner table when we are eating.  He has to much energy.  He can't sit in one place for to long.  He just wants to eat junk.  He eats all the time oatmeal everyday.  Sometimes he will eat other things.  It took me 3 months to get someone to listen to me.  Me and my husband have been so exhausted.  You can't let him leave your site or he is into something distructive.  Once he took powder and sprayed it all over my bathroom within seconds.  He is obsessed with baths, cars have to line up and he has to finish whatever it is that he is doing.  Its so fustrating.  I took him to a Neurologist who diagnosed him with ADHD with anxiety disorder.  She said she would definetly say he does not have Autism.  We did put him on Aderall it was a nightmare, then switched him to Concerta which was worse.  He lost 5lbs.  And seemed to stare off in space.  We wen to a carnival and put him on a carosel ride and he did not even smile.  He had no facial expessions that was my last draw.  I took him off the meds.  Now he at least has a personality but the hyperness and other things we are dealing with.  He has a social worker that comes once a week and works with him.  Teaching him right from wrong.  The distruction is less than it was.  He still breaks his own toys.  He has to have a blanket over his head when he sleeps and a stuffed animal.  I am not sure what we are dealing with but I know deep down in my gut that something else is wrong.  He has never been tested for anything.  They just went by hear say.  Please help me go in the right direction.
9 Responses
535822 tn?1443980380
I do know that drugs arent the answer read some of the posts here ,a lot of the 'behaviors' you mention are normal ,why would you think it odd that achild of 4 has a blanket he chooses to put over his head,children sleep with stuffed animals as teens even....It seems to me that some child /parent interaction couselling may help you. Most children put things in their mouth so dont feel that one is odd it can be pretty scary but thats what they do,there is a good book out there called SOS HElp for Parnets by Lynn Clark it may help you.
Avatar universal
I,ve read some books and watched some programs about autism, and the way you describe your son as not caring and nothing seems to affect him, it does sound a bit like autism. Dont worry about him wanting a blanket, as my four year old still has a dummy. Try reading up on autism and talk to your Dr or Midwife, they,ll be able to advise you properly., Goodluck.
757137 tn?1347200053
The drugs did not work because they are speed and made him more hyper. I do notice your comment that he doesn't like to eat and eats oatmeal all the day. In the food department you are doing the wrong thing. Put dinner in front of him, the same dinner you are eating. Perhaps at first he will not eat. Don't despair. A missed meal or two won't kill him. He will get so hungry that he will have to eat what you give him. I can remember when one of my daughters was about six, she brought home a school friend for lunch. I served them and the little girl said, "I only eat hamburger.for lunch." (Tough luck, kiddo.)
189897 tn?1441130118
  Wow, you list lots of things that normal kids never do.  You have a Neurologist who says he has ADHD.  That would be my guess to (perhaps with some OCD also going on)  - especially since the Concerta didn't wire him up (like it would do with normal kids) but caused an opposite reaction.  Kids that "stare off into space" are withdrawn, the opposite of hyper.   Seems like it was to high a dosage.
  I would find a child psychologist that specializes in ADHD and give it another shot.  Maybe not this year, but certainly by first grade.
  It doesn't hurt to try diet modifications.  Make sure the oatmeal is not full of sugar.  Add fruit to it if he complains about it not being sweet enough.  Certainly throw away all the junk sweet food in the house.
  This is going to take a lot of work on you and your husbands part.  If you can get some counseling on handling kids with his activity level it would be very helpful.  
SOS is a good book and will help.  See if you can focus his activity into something that will keep him in one place.  Try the game that you hook up to your tv and go bowling or play golf - think its the Nintendo game box.
The 'not caring" sounds more like a smart child who is rapidly figuring out how to manipulate the system, or a child that is so wired he literally, almost instantly forgots, why he is mad and moves on to something else.  Don't worry as much about that.  It is more common then you would think.  What you do have to do is to be very consistent and not let this behavior change yours.
    I have not read this book, but there are a lot of good ideas listed below that are worth sharing.  I might add from personal opinion that in at least his early years of elementary school, medication might be needed if he is as bouncy as you say.
   But, you have time to try several things.   Good Luck

50 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Behavior and Attention Span without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion (for detailed information about each way, see The Myth of the ADD Child) Order the book.

Provide a balanced breakfast.
Consider the Feingold diet
Limit television and video games. Find out what interests your child.
Promote a strong physical education program in your child’s school.
Enroll your child in a martial arts program.
Discover your child’s multiple intelligences (link)
Use background music to focus and calm.
Use color to highlight information.
Teach your child to visualize.
Remove allergens from the diet.
Provide opportunities for physical movement.!!
Enhance your child’s self-esteem.
Find your child’s best times of alertness.
Give instructions in attention-grabbing ways.
Provide a variety of stimulating learning activities.
Consider biofeedback training.
Activate positive career aspirations.
Teach your child physical-relaxation techniques.!!
Use incidental learning to teach.
Support full inclusion of your child in a regular classroom.
Provide positive role models.
Consider alternative schooling options.
Channel creative energy into the arts.
Provide hands-on activities
Spend positive times together.
Provide appropriate spaces for learning.
Consider individual psychotherapy.
Use touch to soothe and calm.!!!!!!
Help your child with organizational skills.!!
Help your child appreciate the value of personal effort.
Take care of yourself.
Teach your child focusing techniques.!!
Provide immediate feedback.
Provide your child with access to a computer.
Consider family therapy.
Teach problem-solving skills.
Offer your child real-life tasks to do.
Use "time-out" in a positive way.
Help your child develop social skills.
Contract with your child.
Use effective communication skills.
Give your child choices.
Discover and treat the four types of misbehavior.
Establish consistent rules, routines, and transitions.!!
Hold family meetings.
Have your child teach a younger child.
Use natural and logical consequences.
Hold a positive image of your child.! ! ! ! !
1059503 tn?1254420099
My son did the same thing at 2 yrs. old he broke the locks. He was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and insomnia. And the meds that he is on don't help him at all.
535822 tn?1443980380
Oh I am sorry the book is called' SOS Help for Parents " by LynnClark my keyboard sticks ....
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