It can feel very overwhelming being a parent at times, I know. I also have two sons age 5 and 4. My 5 year old has the nervous system delay of sensory integration disorder which looks a lot like ADD/ADHD in terms of behavior but is treated very different. He does occupational therapy and we do lots of sensory things at home and out and about that have helped beyond belief. We have plans in place for when things don't go well and this helps with outside of the home situations (when others are tempted to judge and offer unsolicited comments . . .shame on them!)
It helps to know exactly what you are dealing with (if anything, I might add----- as boys ---- and girls at times----- can be pretty wacky). Being born at 26 weeks puts your son at a much greater risk of developmental delays. It also means that he is actually younger than his years suggest (and more immature). I would try to read about ADD/ADHD and sensory as much as you can to arm yourself with information. If his school (and eventually your other child's school) suggests an evaluation---- do it. An IEP only helps a child to be successful. It would do something like this for your son---- if he has the urge to move in order to focas (ie: flips during reading time), movement breaks will be in place for him. If he responds well to weighted items (as many sensory integration kids do), one will be available to him at all times during school. They may also get him an inflatable seat pad that he can wiggle in his seat with but not get out of his seat distracting the class. They may tie a rubber band at the bottom of his chair so he can push on it to get this kind of nervous system input.
Some things that help my sensory kid (and his little brother that doesn't have a delay but is super full of energy too) are to be very physical. Do things that make the muscles work. Climb climbing walls, run races on hard pavement (feet slapping street gives more input but all running is good), kick soccer balls, jump on the ground, jump on a trampoline, roll down hills, crash into a big pile of pillows, do animal walks (crab walk especially, bear walk is great, slither like a snake, etc.), swing and swing and swing (soothing). They can go to a wall and play a game of "push over". They push as hard against the wall and try to push it over. If you have a place where you can go swimming, this is a perfect activity. Have them drink applesauce or thick smoothies through a straw or blow a cottonball with a straw across a table. Drink from a sports bottle, chew licorice. Before school or an activity that they have to stay seated (school, church or whatever)---- do some of these physical things and give them a thick piece of bubble gum for the ride. With these kinds of activities, my kids calm down really well and attend to what they need to. They may seem like they are getting wild while we are doing it----- and that is okay as the effect comes after when they need it.
Lots of luck and know you aren't alone. Make allys with the school and try to work together to make your kids as comfortable in their enviroment as possible.
Don't you think it is curious that both boys, the one born prematurely and his younger brother have the same problems? I should think the younger boy is simply taking cues from his older brother. But the older one may have developmental problems due to his prematurity. That is not the same as ADD or ADHD. You need to find a specialist who deals specifically with the development problems of prematurity. I would not worry about the four-year old.
Thanx you guys. I have often wondered myself if my youngest is feeding off the oldest.But there are times that when his brothers in school he starts acting crazy. They both were in an intergrated preschool program and both had IEP's. That teacher never said she was having any problems with them. Now we moved to New York and they still have they're IEP's and they're trying to figure out what type of programs to put them in.(they had early preschool for speech). But now more problems are showing.
I just wanted to say that my 4 year old does NOT have any delays as his 5 year old brother does. He does do many of the same things that my 5 year old both because he has learned them from him and much of it is natural crazy boy stuff. This is very true. It is at times very hard to tell what is behavior within normal and what is not. I think the teachers comparing them to peers will be helpful in determining that. Not that teachers are geniuses (some are, I'm sure) or the absolute athority but they are able to compare kids developmentally without bias. I would try to work with them and learn what you can on your own. If it works itself out in the meantime----- great! If not, you are ready to deal with it. Try the physical activies I mentioned though. I'm guessing they will help both boys calm down a little delayed or not. Both my kids love the activity and it's good for them. I highly recommend it! Good luck and try to enjoy them even when you/they are having a bad day!
I am so sorry you are going threw this with your little boys.
Has your 5 year old been seen by a neurologist yet,if not then he should be seen by one .
And I grew up in upstate NY, and know that all the Schools there are not to good for children.
And please what ever you do don,t put them on ADD OR ADHD Medicines.The side effects are not worth it.My son has seizures and still has hard time learning and acting right for his age.The seizures are worse then all his acting out and learning .And his seizures make it harder then ever to learn and have a normal life.
You and I can talk ourselves blue, but teachers are going to continue to ***** and moan about rambunctious children, and compliant GP's will continue to hand out speed to perfectly normal little kids. I too was pressured by the school to give one of my daughters this poison, but fortunately I was aware of the venality of the pharmaceutical companies and their dealings with doctors.
I was given medicine last year but when my youngest took it he was a complete zombie. My 5 year old took his and ended up throwing up all night. I very rarely take meds myself I just usually let my colds or whatever kick theirselves out on their own. I hate giving them any type of meds im hoping that they get into a good program. I live in Schenectady New York.
I'm the same way with medicine, usually. And becoming like a zombie when your child tried it means he probably didn't have ADD. I'm actually surprised they gave meds to your kids who would have been 3 and 4 at the time. I guess I shouldn't be these days.
One thing I was going to say about two boys age 4 and 5 that are 15 months apart. They do rev each other up and feed off of one another. It can feel overwhelming at times until I remember that I as in ME as in I am the pack leader here. It is one thing to be crazy at the park or in the back yard and I encourage that. But there are times when my kids need to be a little calmer for the occasion. I have a firm rule. They get a warning if they are getting too crazy and wild and if they continue, we leave. That is it---- no discussion. We've left places before and my kids know I mean it when I say it----- so I have to say this warning to calm down works about 95% of the time. I provide lots of outlets for their energy so I think that helps. But this has really worked for us in our personal life. I just thought I'd pass that on one mom to another of two boys a year apart. Good luck.
Yes Ive done that also. Ive left the grocery store cart half full because of theyre behavior. But most of the time they will throw themselves down or scream extremely loud that they dont want to leave. People just stare at me because Ive gotten to the point to where Ill just start to walk away from them while theyre having theyre tantrum. It sounds mean but it works though. Thats when they start to calm down.
slight correction, when you said, "And becoming like a zombie when your child tried it means he probably didn't have ADD. " typically, adhd meds will wire the normal child. They slow down a child with adhd. If the dose is too high, then they get into a zombie like state, where the normal child will go off the walls. Of course , it all depends on what the meds were. And yes, I am very surprised they tried meds that early. Kind of makes me wonder about the doctor.
To momof309, hopefully the ADHD book you read had good ideas of how to work with the kids. There are lots of really good suggestions in some of the books. You also might want to look into a child psychologist that specializes in ADHD . That person might be able to help your children and also help you to understand how to deal with them more effectively.
we are currently working with the school. Theyre watching his behavior seeing if he worsens or gets better. Theyre talking about putting him in behavior management. As for the pill its called "catapres/clonidine". I cut it into fours as they instructed. Which makes them small pieces but still dont understand why he was a zombie with having such a small amount. I think my oldest took an average of two pills of adderal then I took him off due to throwing it back up.Maybe this has something to do with me. I have deppresion and bipolar. I still take my deppression meds but was taken off bipolar meds due to the side affect. I just felt like I was overly drunk on that med.
I stand corrected. I think someone said that would happen if I put my sensory son on ADD meds and to be careful of this. The zombie comment stuck with me and then it was repeated here. I've read your posts, however, that the meds will become activating if a child doesn't have ADD. Finding the right mix of things that help for each child is hard. I wish this mom lots of luck!
I know of two families that have had proper diagnosis of ADD/ADHD and chose to medicate their children. These families (everyone included) are very happy in their decision. I think the concern many people here have is the overdiagnosis of ADD and that I can't argue with.