Oh man, she is trying to hold it together in school and then comes home to find Raphael. I can see why she had the melt down.
You said she has had an OT for years - obviously only for the SID. I sure hope you doc is not prescribing meds for SID behaviors, cause that won't work.
We have a SID site here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Sensory-Integration-Disorder-SID/show/1396
which is monitored by Specialmom. Her own son is now about 10 and they have been dealing with this for years. She has been very successful with using the techniques to help her little guy. He is now doing very well. I suggest that you post over there for some more help. She has lots of techniques that work really well. And, although, her son has only SID or SPD - she can definitely relate to what you are going through.