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Step Parenting ADHD Child

HI I am very new to this Board. Let me Start you off with our Family History just so you can have some understanding.  I have Been with my Husband for 6.5 Years we will have been married for 4 this summer. My DH has a son who will be 9 next month and we Have a 22m old son together and I am expecting again in May. We just got custody  in Nov 2007 of my SS. And we have been trying to blend our Family. My SS is ADHD he is having all the typical issues in School not concentrating moving around speaking out of turn ect... He is so behind that he will have to repeat grade 3. We have not put him on medication because we are fearful of the long term effects of the Adderal. But we have not completely dismissed the Idea of using medication.

One of my main concerns is our home life, my SS has recently shared with his mother that we are way too hard on him and not hard enough on our 22m Son. My SS also plays really rough with DS and does not seem to realize the age difference. Every time they play together SS is always complaining or tattling on DS. SS always gets DS hyped up and then does not want to play with him and complains when DS pulls his hair or climbs on him. SS also seems to antagonize DS by tapping him with toys on the head or will go and take a toy from him. SS get really angry when DS takes toys from him. And SS will fight over it and whine and complain. I have watched other Children Play with DS and noticed that this is not typical behavior.
Is it the ADHD that makes SS behave this way? Or is it a family blending issue and he is jealous and in competition for attention. I am fearful that SS will end up despising us because we treat his siblings differently.
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Avatar universal
I had teachers at school suggesting to me the councillor etc about my child having adhd, but it took me a little while to go and seek medical input reason being my husband and i didnt want to put him on meds. buy the age of 7and a half i went to the specialist for my sons sake and others in the household i was up the school constantley because of his behavour and lack of concentration, it was very hard at home too.
all i can say that actually putting him on meds was the best thing we ever did for him he was not getting in as much trouble at school he could even sit down on a weekend and do puzzle books that he liked, i felt bad for not doing it earlier for him. the meds dosnt cure adhd but makes life for them and others around a bit easier, keep in mind adhd is a chemical in balance. the best meds would be a long acting one like ritalin LA or concerta so only one tablet has to be taken a day. having a adhd child is not the easiest and on top of it you have to learn how to cope with it and also a child with adhd dosnt adapt well to change either. i have dealt with this situation for years now.i hope i have helped a little.
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305180 tn?1279716747
Though it took me a year and a half of trying just about everything else, working with the school, teachers, their father, etc, I finally put my girls on meds for ADHD. They both take Concerta and dont have much side effects other than a smaller appetite, but that has increased over time. I hate the fact that they have to have medication to be able to succeed in school but its much better than seeing them feeling bad about themselves all the time. Talk to your childs doctor about Concerta instead of Adderall. I have heard a lot of bad side effects of Adderall.
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