We think ADHD

[Ronver]

Hello i'm new here
I'm from Belgium but live in Canada.
sorry if my writing is not so good.

I have a Problem and i'm on the end of my rope.
I have a stepdaughter who is 10 ,i know her now over 5 years.
In the beginning she was a sweet girl.
I have to say that her mom left her when she was 2.5 and she hears from her of and on.

Ever sins i know her she wanted to be friends with whomever she met.
In kindergarten she always kissed boys until children started to complain.
She is also lying about everything, breaking everything .
whatever we tell her not to do, that is just what she is gone to do.
when she gets punished for it she gets mean and blames everything on us.
she breaks clothing on purposes, toys, furniture, spit in her room on the carpet  and on furniture.
In school she gives children the middle finger ,she sees this not from us.
asks boys to be her boyfriend, children make fun of her because she asks about every boy is school.
she lies to the teacher.write inappropriate notes to children about sex.
and then claims she did not do this.
gets angry for about anything.
she has a very bad attitude and she does not care about any punishment we gave her.
we even tried to take everything away like dr Phil says but nothing works.
if we keep this up she will be a grow up until she gets her toys back.


Help we don't know what to do any more.

[Ronver]

Thanks  for the respond.
We took C. to the doctor he talked to her for about two hours.
listen to us what we had to say.
He really thinks that C. has ADD but with her past and the rejecting of her mother,
That did her not much good to her, so it is a situation of both.separation fear and ADD.
He want to give her retalin but my husband and I, hate to medicate children.
she is now on a diet and we give her herbs instead of chemicals.
She takes ginkgo biloba, omega 3, and Valerian.
its now 7 days and we begin to see the results.she is calmer and her eyes look more brighter.
I made her a necklace with beads on, so she can play with it wen she needs to fidget.
that's makes a different's in the classroom.
It keeps also her hand of her clothing, not hole making any more.
I hope it stays this way.
I keep you posted :-)

Ronver.

[dollyn]

to me it sounds like you need to take her to her doctor, and ask him to send her to see someone to talk to.there should be someone at school in the office that you and her can talk to.

and also it has to be very hard for her not to have her mom and she may be doing this to get someone attention.

get her help before it is to late.

[willowblue]

If it's adhd try the Superparenting book by Hallowell.

[Lily2you]

Have you taken her to both a Medical and Psychiatrist Doctor to find out if she has been sexually abused by someone?  It happens so much in this world.  The other thing that I would consider  is ODD called Oppositional Defiant Disorder.   I am not a Doctor, so this is just information that I have found.  Please have your child seek medical/psychiatric advise from a professional.
openly uncooperative and hostile behavior becomes a serious concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it affects the child's social, family, and academic life.

In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning.  Symptoms of ODD may include:

    * frequent temper tantrums
    * excessive arguing with adults
    * active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
    * deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
    * blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
    * often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
    * frequent anger and resentment
    * mean and hateful talking when upset
    * seeking revenge

The symptoms are usually seen in multiple settings, but may be more noticeable at home or at school.  Five to fifteen percent of all school‑age children have ODD.  The causes of ODD are unknown, but many parents report that their child with ODD was more rigid and demanding than the child's siblings from an early age.  Biological and environmental factors may have a role.

Good Luck, and welcome to Canada
Lily2you