I cannot judge and don't know your past - do know life is worth living tomorrow the sun will be shining a little bit brighter. We learn form our actions and we come out better on the other side. Everyone deserve a second chance and you deserve to give yourself a second chance.
Please ask for help - look for help and get out of this deep hole that's eating you alive. There is always help it's just a matter of asking for it.
Take care of yourself - time heal all wounds
Hi I will be your friend and I don't judge people. I know what your going through. My son is 12 with ADHD and he feels alot of the things you do. I had advice from my son's doctor not to put him on AddrellXR or any other ADHD medication. He was on it when he was 5 and I will never put him on it again. I seen first hand what the medication does to people. His doctor told me to put my son on fish oil tables and Vitamin C tables. He said that the tables will reverese the brain to act normal. He told me the people with ADD and ADHD have a lack of iron from not getting enough fish in their diet. The doctor saids it could take up to 3 to 4 months to see a difference in him, but it will be worth it to see my son get better without the hard drugs. You are welcome to write me when ever you want.