sudden accidents

[Viv121]

Our 4 1/2 year old was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. He is not on any medication and does appear presently to be ADD without hyperactivity..  The past 3 months he has been pooping and also peeing his pants from the BM on a almost daily basis.  He was totally potty trained.  He is a highly intelligent child and is aware of the accident after the fact and will hide it.  These are not just traces of BM as if leakage (older son had that problem) but often times, full BM.  He has these accidents at preschool, home, and outings.  We have done both disciplined (took away whatever activity he was involved in at the time of the accident) and put him on a reward system.  We have also tried not making it a big deal.  He spends half of his time at two different homes with two different rules but has done this most of his life. He goes to two different preschools - one where he gets speech, but again, he has done this all year.  There is a custody battle going on, but the boys are not aware of it (at least we are careful to keep them out of it).  I am frustrated on how to help him with this problem as is the preschool programs.  He also has some sensory needs that have esculated the past few months as well (mouthing things, pulling strings from socks, etc.).

[specialmom]

Would it help to do reminders throughout the day? Sometimes just asking the question if he has to go to the bathroom may get him to stop what he is doing and go.  At school they could do it on the hour or half hour and you could do the same at home.  

[allmymarbles]

Generally ADD is not diagnosed in a child this young. Punishing a child for soiling himself is not the best idea. Nor is rewarding him. They both send the wrong message. What this child needs is patience and a sense of security. Speak to your husband about this so that you can handle the problem in the same manner. Whatever animosity you have towards each other should not be visited on the boy.