1. always worrying about running out of pills.
2.spending money I could have been using for so much more positive things
3 Always worrying that had my pills with me or I would go into WD
4. Not wanting to go anywhere .
5.Not doing as much with my kids because I was in my own world .
6.The effect on my overall health.
7 Not being in the "mood"
8 Having to plan trips around when my refills would be ready.
1.I am here for my kids 100 % to do things with them
2.Go where ever we want to without having to worry about whether I had the enough meds.
3.Saving alot more money.
4 Never having to count pills again
5 I like myself again
6.I eat better and exercise
7 I am in the "mood"
8 .I look better instead of rundown and tried.
9. I get so much more stuff done now .
10.I enjoy the little things that I not eve pay attentions
1 spending all my money on heroin
2 losing friends to overdoses
3 stealing from shops for heroin
4 no looking after youself and loss of self esteem
5 my kids and family disowened me
6 scared of no having money for heroin
7 scared of withdrawls
8 every day in life looking for other dealers
9 stopped doing thihgs with my kids
10 arguing with kim if i could not score
11 involving myself in extreme vilonce with im not proud of
12 risking going to prison just for drugs
13 in fact when your involved in the heroin scene the list is endless. i wouldnt even tell you things iv done due to heroin
1 having money
2 gained some respect from my children
3 looking healther
4 dont have to go and steal
5 smell and taste and see colours better
6 not sitting in the house stoned all the time
7 being able to laugh again
8 finding MH
9 keeping better company
10 moved house
11 not getting arrested for anything that happened in my area
And of course positive thinking
always had my mind on one thing only...pills
wasted money on nothing...making someone rich
allowing myself to believing i didn t have a problem
waking up in the morning feeling so low....needing a handful of pills
being sad...very sad
planning every daMN move around pills...uggh
waking up feeling great...no pills needed
i have much more money....i m a shoe addict now
remembering i am a recovering addict
feeling absolutely normal...just like everyone else
going to sleep thinking about all the good things in life...not pills
looking better...skin is bright and clear....hair has much more shine
being truly happy...myself...nothing is controlling me
enjoying every sunset i can see
thankful to God.... he has given me so much strength
i could name many more positives....the above are my most important feelings
very good post avisg.....maria :)
Thanks for this post everyone. It was good to read and remind myself. Still only 6 days out of a two week relapse after 90 days clean. So very short list just to try and remember.
1. Not ever telling the truth to anyone and myself
2. I know I was an addict but denied it was a PROBLEM.
3. Doing NOTHING but staring into space
4. Feeling worse and worse
5 Withdrawing from all social things
6. Afraid of everything
7. Not interested in anything except being high
8. Depressed all the time except for the short time the drugs actually still worked
9. Sleeping ALL THE TIME
1. Reaching out to people
2. Not lying
3. Feeling proud of myself
4.Not worrying all the time
5. Not totally anxious all the time
6. Not being afraid
7. Making plans
8. DOING THINGS