Aa
100 days
I've finally reached 100 days,I can't believe C/T from alcohol and codeine and going through intensive counselling for child abuse,only ongoing support is Medhelp.Thank You everyone.Love Denise
My friend is alive...she is oriented now and she did try to kill herself....she remembers doing it...i spoke with her tonight on the phone...she still seems to be forgetful..but she took a bottle of baclofen she states...but then she also said things she took that were not true...for instance we counted her Prozac and only the amount that should have been gone was gone..she also said she took a bunch of BP meds..and her blood pressure meds were acounted for as we counted them as well....I will be honest with u Narla...I do not believe much of anything she says...she says she had been planning it and got rid of her x-husband that night so she could do it...vs the phone call from her daughter giving her an ultimatum to get rid of this 2nd husband whom her kids hate...it is a bit strange this happens right after he left///but then the phone call nor his leaving had anything to do wit it???
I brought to her attn the day before...she was planning on going back to a meager job she had on monday...she told me she couldnt bel;ieve she had contemplated suicide earlier cos she felt good///went to the gym with me she was making plans for the future...I do not know wy now she insists the whole thing was planned for a month or 2....I asked her "u r a nurse..if u planned it out so carefully, why did u take sumpin that would not kill u, but only screw up ur brain'? There is obviouswly a reason she claims she was planning this for months///i do know she was thinkin bout it//but we all do in times of stress...thinking about it is sumpin almost everyone has done in a depressing time//for a second ...I did as well for a few days in July..that is different than actually planning it...I shot thru the holes in her story...but the damage she has done can often be irreversible...very forgetful///motor skills were affected..she can walk but she veers to the left....someone with her knowledge woulda killed themselves if they meant to do so...I would know how....she wouldnt risk being a vegetable which she came close to doing as she did not use the right drug...she was in post wd from avinza/a 24 hour time release form of morphine but she would break the capsule and chew the beads..4 at a time...her depression was for sure affected by this altho her physical wds only lated a few days///cod she does wd every month
She is getting alot of attention right now/her family is there alot where they were not before//not much left and the 18 year old is an addict too i have disocvered thru this ordeal/manipulating as she can be//she is sumpin else//another story...the hospital is having problems finding a place to take her and as long as she states she is scared she will do it again/they r forced to keep her or send her somewhere..without insurance no one is jumping to take her...she craved attention before..I am not sure what is going on but I do know she will go back to using the second she gets a chance...i feel it in my bones and she will not say that she will quit drugs! I am at the point to where my nrg is being wasted...she is a manipulator//as addicts can be..she has never even thanked me for finding her..i can not spend my nrg worrying about someone i do not trust...this is the reason i never asked her to move in here//i have a big house..i do not trust her//nor do I belive a word she says...the brain damage could be irreversible..so perhaps she will get disability and drink or use til she either purposely or accidently kills herself...i have realized..THERE IS A TIME TO LET GO OF TOXIC PEEPS IN OUR LIVES! they suck nrg from us...
My dad is in the hospital with a tube down his nose...he has LOST IT...confused and has no idea where he is...i just left the hospital after he pulled the tube out decompressing his stomach for the third time...the nurse was trying to put it back in and he was fighting her...i went up there/as my mom was bewildered as to what to do....I calmed him down and put the tube back into his stomach thru his nose/could not believe the nurse let me do this as i do not work there. He has a bowel obstruction but my dad is not mentally unstable and a hosptial stay would not make him turn into a crazy person...i called the dr as i think he is having a rxn to the morphine they r giving him...he was calm when i left....my mom is staying tonight and i will stay tomorrow night, then my sister if it gets that far..hopefully they will do surgery to relieve this obstruction//they r thinking it will resolve on its own//but not looking like it and in the meantime my dad is regressing mentally...and he is a chemical engineer by trade..the smartest person i know//retired but still works at the church/school i went to/my kids went to as well as my g-dtr....he is the "grounds engineer" I love him and this is where my nrg should be right now
I need a break...BAD!
I brought to her attn the day before...she was planning on going back to a meager job she had on monday...she told me she couldnt bel;ieve she had contemplated suicide earlier cos she felt good///went to the gym with me she was making plans for the future...I do not know wy now she insists the whole thing was planned for a month or 2....I asked her "u r a nurse..if u planned it out so carefully, why did u take sumpin that would not kill u, but only screw up ur brain'? There is obviouswly a reason she claims she was planning this for months///i do know she was thinkin bout it//but we all do in times of stress...thinking about it is sumpin almost everyone has done in a depressing time//for a second ...I did as well for a few days in July..that is different than actually planning it...I shot thru the holes in her story...but the damage she has done can often be irreversible...very forgetful///motor skills were affected..she can walk but she veers to the left....someone with her knowledge woulda killed themselves if they meant to do so...I would know how....she wouldnt risk being a vegetable which she came close to doing as she did not use the right drug...she was in post wd from avinza/a 24 hour time release form of morphine but she would break the capsule and chew the beads..4 at a time...her depression was for sure affected by this altho her physical wds only lated a few days///cod she does wd every month
She is getting alot of attention right now/her family is there alot where they were not before//not much left and the 18 year old is an addict too i have disocvered thru this ordeal/manipulating as she can be//she is sumpin else//another story...the hospital is having problems finding a place to take her and as long as she states she is scared she will do it again/they r forced to keep her or send her somewhere..without insurance no one is jumping to take her...she craved attention before..I am not sure what is going on but I do know she will go back to using the second she gets a chance...i feel it in my bones and she will not say that she will quit drugs! I am at the point to where my nrg is being wasted...she is a manipulator//as addicts can be..she has never even thanked me for finding her..i can not spend my nrg worrying about someone i do not trust...this is the reason i never asked her to move in here//i have a big house..i do not trust her//nor do I belive a word she says...the brain damage could be irreversible..so perhaps she will get disability and drink or use til she either purposely or accidently kills herself...i have realized..THERE IS A TIME TO LET GO OF TOXIC PEEPS IN OUR LIVES! they suck nrg from us...
My dad is in the hospital with a tube down his nose...he has LOST IT...confused and has no idea where he is...i just left the hospital after he pulled the tube out decompressing his stomach for the third time...the nurse was trying to put it back in and he was fighting her...i went up there/as my mom was bewildered as to what to do....I calmed him down and put the tube back into his stomach thru his nose/could not believe the nurse let me do this as i do not work there. He has a bowel obstruction but my dad is not mentally unstable and a hosptial stay would not make him turn into a crazy person...i called the dr as i think he is having a rxn to the morphine they r giving him...he was calm when i left....my mom is staying tonight and i will stay tomorrow night, then my sister if it gets that far..hopefully they will do surgery to relieve this obstruction//they r thinking it will resolve on its own//but not looking like it and in the meantime my dad is regressing mentally...and he is a chemical engineer by trade..the smartest person i know//retired but still works at the church/school i went to/my kids went to as well as my g-dtr....he is the "grounds engineer" I love him and this is where my nrg should be right now
I need a break...BAD!
You've really had a hard time lately,remember it will get better,how is your friend going,is she recovering.Why did your dad end up in hospital and had to have morphine.Get back to the gym as soon as possible,it really helps with the endorphines.Good Luck Much Love Denise
I am thinking I am suffering from PTSD! LOL...no i have always thought that was a silly term..but I now believe it exists..I do think when enuf stress hits u at once it can leave u disabled for a while
I hit the gym 6 days a week at least until july 26th....the beginning of a stressful period that i am still feeling at times..I am still not the same
My work out buddy tried to kill herself...found her 2 weeks ago and called 911...a new job that i feel fortunate to get after my cruddola luck hit me hard july 26th/is in jeopardy due to my past crud...seemed like all was going well..then stuff starts happening...now my dad is in the hospital and he is acting crazy and they had to restrain him tonight...i think it is the morphine they gave him as he is not a drinker nor a drugger..but it is bringing back my friend and her being tied up..sometimes i wonder when "breaks" r sposed to occur..I need one
But not finding time for the gym is not helping..I gotta get back on track...if only 30 minutes i gotta get back on my schedule....
Didnt mean to rain on ur parade! LOL...just been feeling like i am needing to get back to my old life....soon
I hit the gym 6 days a week at least until july 26th....the beginning of a stressful period that i am still feeling at times..I am still not the same
My work out buddy tried to kill herself...found her 2 weeks ago and called 911...a new job that i feel fortunate to get after my cruddola luck hit me hard july 26th/is in jeopardy due to my past crud...seemed like all was going well..then stuff starts happening...now my dad is in the hospital and he is acting crazy and they had to restrain him tonight...i think it is the morphine they gave him as he is not a drinker nor a drugger..but it is bringing back my friend and her being tied up..sometimes i wonder when "breaks" r sposed to occur..I need one
But not finding time for the gym is not helping..I gotta get back on track...if only 30 minutes i gotta get back on my schedule....
Didnt mean to rain on ur parade! LOL...just been feeling like i am needing to get back to my old life....soon
Congratulations!!!! That really is something wonderful. Keep smiling,
ZJ
ZJ
My day always starts at the gym and finishes at the gym 5 days a week,It really keeps the endorphines going,but yeah I might get myself something special today.Love Denise
I am going to happy dance in the streets for you today!!! This is so great narla!!! Got any plans for the day? Do something nice for you~~~~~~~sara
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