I am addicted to all drugs, even the ones I have not tried, lol. My DOC is cocaine and i fought a very hard battle to get my life back. It`s amazing cause at one time i believed it was truly impossible, but that was the lie of addiction. I am much happier clean and at 110 days now. I have had a few relapses since joining this forum a couple years ago, but I used to relapse every week and have come a long way. With help and support I have found this battle to be a lot easier and i thank all of you for being a part of my recovery.
Well i started using some sort of substance when i was just barely a teenager. I sobered up when i was 41, drank whiskey like there was no tomorrow.....hit the pills real heavy after that and decided when i was 47 my health was suffering and it was time to do something. I have been clean since April 2008......So here i am.. i am dominosarah and i am a very grateful recovering addict.
Gizzy that is so true if I were to make a list it would be the same coke ,crank,pills ,smoking ,food or in my case not eating .I really think the substance is just symptom of addiction.That's why recovery to me is being off all of them not just my DOC which many of you know is tramadol .It is very odd when you think about the harder core drugs the hydro and oxy what got me the worst was tramadol.I would turn down the others any day for tram which made it even easier for me to get because the doctor were so impressed that Turned down the harder core narcotics.I have been clean for over two years now and there are still days I struggle .I used to think after the first few weeks that I would be all done like I had been over the years when I was not so deep into addiction .I can look back now and see I never stoped using something .The something just changed .pills,pot,coke smoking one thing to another it took me along time to contect it altogether . I have learned alot in the last to years but I still have so far to go I am sure just like us all.
well I started doing drugs at 12 weed psychedelics reds beans then graduated to Heroin then crank as a iv user I have Hep C.. then later years alcohol and pills. been clean 1 year 1 month it took a lot for me to put my past behind me and was helped by a psychiatrist was also close to dieing before I grasped at life.. very grateful I did.. lesa
I started drinking at 14 ,I assume I was an alcoholic then I'd drink what I could and as much as I could when I could,when I quit I was drinking 3 to 4 x 1 litre bottles of bacardi per week.I started taking codeine at 26,When I quit I was taking 18 to 24 x 10mg codeine which also included 500mg paracetamol and 5.1 mg doxylamine succinate which is a calmative.What made it hard to quit was that in Australia I could buy over the counter 40 pills for $10.So it was not an expensive addiction.I quit because I found out I have liver damage,and I now have a 9 month old grandson I want to see grow up.
I had tried many things in my youth and never showed addiction with any of them. That is until I tried opiates. Didn't really matter which ones. Oxy's became the main one though and it got bad.
I was also a counsellor. It's difficult to explain the shame I felt while counselling addicts and having a problem myself. SOOOO hypocritical. I quit this position because of the shame.
Today is 26 days!!! Of all the things that have been returned to me, my happiness has been most treasured!!!!!
I'm hoping this forum will help me learn to stay clean after the physical stuff is gone. Nothing speaks so clearly as the voice of experience so being a newbie to all of this, I'm looking to you guys for some guidance.
I'm addicted to just about anything I can do, but most recently I got clean from tramadol. 3 whole days, plus some hours. I've been sober from alcohol and cigarettes for about 3 and a half years and coke, ecstasy, party stuff about 5 years. I think I found the tramadol because the others became not an option.
I saw a shrink the other day for the tramadol problem, yet when he asked me what drug I would choose on a deserted island, I said coke. WTF? Where did that come from? I haven't touched a drug like that in at least 5 years and was never totally hooked, although I just lucked out on people, places and things in regards to that. In order, it was coke, ecstasy, alcohol and then tramadol.
So, although I've only been clean from tramadol 3 days, clearly I have no program right now. It freaks me out that I said those things and thought them. It scares me and makes me wonder if one day there could be an option for any of that.
Oh yeah, forgot about food.
I just wish this was easier. Wish I wasn't always craving some high.
My name is Lee, I am 25, I started smoking weed at 11, doing cocaine at 13, meth at 15, got clean off everything with the help of inpaitient rehab and stayed clean for a few years , starting taking pills at 22 and just got clean about 90 days ago. I owe so much to this site and the people here..its been a rock for me : )
I'm Amy. Oxycodone was my DOC. I started using percocet after the birth of my son in April 2007 for legit reasons, but the way it made me feel...well, I got hooked. My use escalated in the spirng of 2008 until I realized in June that I was completely out of control. Up to 200mg of oxycodone per day. Stopped cold turkey on July 8th and only with the support of this forum was I able to survive those first few weeks. I am still clean...483 days later.
After reading what everyone posted I had to go back and read the question again. My first addiction was " to see how long I could go without eating"....Something I had controll over. My first drink was @ age 10, my uncle's girlfriend thought it was funny to get my friend and myself drunk and watch us stumble 3 blocks home. I threw up.My 3 addiction was elective muteism ( I stopped talking )5th grade.When I would CAVE and talk I punnish myself by cutting the bottoms of my feet.By the age of 15 I was in full blown addiction, alcohol was never my gig, I liked to get really high ACID,so on and so forth
I got preg.@ age 17 and stopped using for 1 year.Never missed the stuff, couldn't stand the smell of it. Baby girl born 6 weeks later I start using again from age 18 to 26 my life centered around using and finding ways and means to get more.
Having a child and basically being a good mother at heart her presence in my life helped me maintain a simi reasonable life..............................AT the end I was married to a man who was serving 14 years for second degree murder.His going to prison was my blessing.I went to detox the summer of 84 and my clean date is 1-21-85 Cocaine,ruled my life., along with any junk I could try to get high. But the highs were gone I only got sick.
Chronic painer here...quit a 100 mg hydro habit in feb of 08....just went thru some true stress//in fact the worst i think i have ever gone thru a few months ago....and realized how easy it is to turn back when things r not hunky dory...i turned to alcohol...saw it coming and got a hold of myself...this stuff never goes away...glad to post here
It is easy to stay clean//well maybe not easy//but easier//when all is well...thing is in life we never know when a curve ball will come our way and we strike out....so to me this is a life long process//staying clean is...i can c as i was recently tested..that loss/depression etc can hit an addict like a ton of bricks and it is not sumpin we can ever forget...always remembering I am an addict is not always pleasant..but I have accepted it and Ok with it...what choice do I have I guess?
I have been an addict for over 20 years. Started out smoking a little pot in high school and would drink now and then, but nothing major. Then I started college and was smoking pot every day by then and I was then introduced to meth - it was great, could work, study, and still had time to party - until meth took over. I ended up using meth IV and by the time I was 21, I went through a 30 day inpatient rehab. Never used meth again, but was jealous that my friends could party and I couldn't, so the vicious cycle started again. You name it, I tried it. Pot, LSD, mushrooms, heroin (only a few times), and then I was introduced to Hydrocodone - the love of my life for several years. Finally, I started on suboxone in 2005 and I have never taken another hydro again. I tried tapering from the suboxone and started drinking heavily. In June of this year, I had enough and went through an 8 day detox program - I have been clean 162 days today and have never felt better. I have told several people on here that I have never had a craving - I don't know why, but I consider myself lucky. I don't think about using, but I am on this site each and every day and I know that I would probably not be sober today if I had not found medhelp and all the support everyone on here give anyone in need. Thanks for asking me to be a member of this group.
U r very lucky to never have a craving...i didnt either til things inmy life went down the toilet..when things r hunky dory we do not crave so much..but when life becomes mean to an addict..then many do turn back to the "escape" coping mechanism that we perfected during using...great that u never crave....i really do not either..til I get hit hard with a stressor...just know we always have to be on our tippy toes..not consiously worrying cos that is not positive..just aware
I agree worried - my addiction and recovery are always on the front of my mind. During the holidays now, I am visiting family and they all drink - not heavy, but there will be wine and beer mostly. I am lucky, my family is sensitive to my needs and always is careful around me, but in my business, there is always drinking, so it is always around. I have done well, but I would be lying if I told you I have not been tempted to take a drink - but I know that it is not an option and have been able to abstain. I could not do it without the support, but I must always be on my feet.
Drinking alcohol is so prevalent in society...beer, wine,etc is everywhere...u do not go to a family reunion and pills are all over the place...but alcohol often is....alcoholics have it tougher than pill users as this is their substance of choice/and it is accepted by society to drink...but as I have found out...drinking can lead a pill abuser into deep doo doo...and vice versa...an alcoholic can not take pills responsibly as a rule/and this I have just had a 5 year experience with due to a friend who was an alcoholic/hurt her back lifting a patient/and now is a pill abuser and not even sure if she is going to live...and worried if she does live//it may have been for the best had I not found her
Substances are substances...be it alcohol, heroin, hydro or oxies...we have to be careful at all times...especially in times of stress..it is so easy to slip and return to our old enemy being the pills/or a new enemy/that we think is our friend to help us make it thru..but they only hurt us...self destructive we addicts can be..for sure
I just discovered this new group and I think it is Fantastic! Thank you for starting it! I am 46 days clean from my drug of choice (opiates...vicodin, percocet, tramdol...whichever I could get) as well as clean from my backup choices alcohol and pot. I was dabbling in the pills for quite sometime but it was always occasional when I could get some kind of use. Then got super hooked, I would find a way to get them because I needed to take them every day, all day about 2 years ago. Before that I did like my pot smoking and drinking but once I found the pills I found my real drug of choice. I quit 3 times in the past 2 years but never went into recovery and never stopped the drinking or weed bc I did not think they were a real problem. now I realize that even if they aren't my addiction they could turn into one or lead me back to the pill use. I am trying to learn and want to learn to live completely sober and present. I am in early recovery but I feel grateful to be in recovery, to be learning and to have this site and other support groups. This is not an easy journey but most of the best things in life are not easy....at least that is what I am trying to tell myself :)
My name is Rusty and I am an addict.I started using when I was 15.Alcohol, Weed, Acid, Coke, etc. I was clean 15 yrs then relapsed 6 yrs ago and have been clean only 61 days as of now. I had to have surgery for crohn's disease 4 times in 1 year and never got off the pain meds. Started with oxycontin and then I found a pain specialist that I conned into anything I wanted. I was on oxycontin, dilaidid, ms contin, and fentanyl. I started shooting these into my central line that was put in so I could give myself IV nutrition at home. I overdosed shooting fentanyl but that did not stop me. I was going to kill myself 3 months ago but I think God helped me make a better choice. I went through intense withdrawal and made it through it with NO meds.As soon as I could, I went to a NA mtg and have gone every day since. I also read and post here. That's the short version of my past.
My name is Rachel, and NEVER in my life did I think I would say this but I'm an addict. I've been clean for 2 days. I dont' really think it became a problem until recently... maybe a year or so ago.... Oh btw I'm addicted to pain killers, tramadol mainly.
When I was 16 I was shot by my father in the stomach (yes on purpose, he also murdered my mother.) I never took any pain meds while I was recovering and didn't even really know of any pain meds. I found the bottle of hydros that I was prescirbed in a cabinet and took them months after I'd healed becaue I'd liked the way they made me feel. Over the years I've used pain meds off and on when I could find them. Now I'm using tramadol about every day. I like the fuzzy loving feeling it gives me. Without it I feel so dull, and blah! Like I have no emotions except boring.
I also smoke marijuana, which I only started doing about 2 years ago. I'd smoked like 3 times all through adolecense, and then when I was 23 just cuz I wanted to try it, then I was hooked. Mainly because it was something to do. I'm a huge homebody, people and public make me nervous (not when i'm high on tramadol though, weed I can't go out in public period). I mainly do the drugs out of boredom, and because they make me feel like I can communicate with people without being afraid of them.
I've been clean for 2 days now... I just wanna feel normal without the drugs. I have a long history of depression coming from an abusive background, but my abuser has been in prison for 9 years, and still I'm so unhappy with myself, but the pills make me feel less unhappy.
I'm addicted to cigarettes for forty years and have ruined my health over it, this will be my seventh try, and the difference is that this time I'm trying Chantix and I have to quit whether it works or not. I have quit many substances including herion and this is by FAR the worst for me psychologically & physically. I will join the smoking forum too but think this one will be helpful also. Maybe together we can make this hell that is addiction a thing of our pasts. I'm here to help others too. If you want it bad enough you can do it, we can do it. How to find a peace within ourselves so we don't need a substance to feel better? Well, let's explore that together.I'm happy to be here!
I know that this hasn't been posted on in a while but I just recently found this group after speaking with a moderator about starting one like it. I wanted to make sure a long term recovery forum didn't already exist before I went on in creating my own and I'm happy I found this. Thank you avisg! I started off smoking weed and drinking at 14 and injured my back in mixed martial arts. I got perscribed percocets and by 15 I was IV using oxycontin and at age 16 was shooting heroin. I had attempted to get clean multiple times to know avail because I did not understand myself, my addiction, and my motives enough to make any sort of emotional or spiritual progress. I ended up homeless, joining an organization that commited crimes for profit, hurting people, and destroying myself before my higher power intervened in my life and granted me the willingness to go to any lengths to stay clean and sober. I used to be under the impression that I could continue drinking and taking MDMA and that heroin was the only problem. It took until April 7th 2012 (my clean/sober date) to realize that's not the case. Even though I am a recovering heroin addict I go to AA, 5 meetings a week, have a home group, have a sponsor, work the steps, go to hospitals to help people in need, do commitments. I believe my purpose in life is to help others and my strengths are public speaking and connecting to people. I am working on getting into school to be a LADAC. I look foward to discussing recovery with you all :)
You would think that after 35 years of freedom from active addiction I would have it made wouldn't you? Well in most ways I have as I've lived a full and exciting life since my weeks in rehab back in 1977. Nonetheless I still feel a sense of safety and comfort listening to others in recovery knowing that I'm not alone with my bad memories, my regrets, and my anger at myself.
It's not all that bad though as my depressive states are now few and short-lived instead of the weeks of chronic self -loathing of years gone by, my suicidal tendencies have by God's grace completely disappeared. I'm still in good health at 65 and still being complimented on my appearance in spite of a two year recovery from Hepatitis C back in 2008-2010.
Long term recovery has always been my goal and I did what I could to ensure it happened by returning to University. Everything thereafter were blessings from living a sober life- my wife, my children, my job, even my retirement with a substantial gratuity and pension. Thanks for reading. I'll be around.
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