Aa
Sexual deviant behaviors?
I have a 14 yr old son and daughter, twins, my son has been having sexual behaviors that recently involved his twin sister and led to him being arrested and her placed with my parents upon his release. He has been diagnosed ADHD and Bi[polar. Would either one of those disorders explain why he is becoming so sexually arroused that even the family dog is a target? He wasn't aware of what sexual intercourse actually was until a trip to his mental health provider and she discovered this and set the record straight with him disclosing straight forward with him what sexual intercourse really is. He now has taken our family dog into his bedroom and upon me opening his door he jumped out of his skin still fully dressed and the dog not seemingly upset, however he had an errection. This is troubling me greatly as I do not know what is bringing on such behaviors therefore I am having trouble addressing the issues and coming up with a solution to stop his sexual beahviors. Until he is not longer a risk I can not bring his twin home back into the house for her own safety which is very upsetting. If anyone can please help me in figuring this out I would be exteemly grateful!
My daughter understands completely and is happy to stay with my parents per the court order until we sort this whole thing out. I am waiting to see a councelor I have an appointment the 6th of December. My son well I have appointments for him with a doctor at childrens hospital and he is also seeing someone local, they don't see him often enough in my oppinion but they are the only such services around my area.
His action upon his twin sister are what promted this entire situation. I was told by a councelor that if he even tried to force himself on her that I had to file charges against him, thus the day he did he laid atop her and held her down "humping her leg" and they both desribed it. I called the sheriff took him to the Emergency room for a eval and then he was arrested. He was in a detention facility for a little over a week and learned things from being there that I would never want my children to hear and see. By the way my twins are legally blind as well. I had to beg the court to allow my daughter to go to my parents home and he to come home with me so that he didn't pick up any other bad behaviors by staying in the detention center. I asked my daughter if she understood what I was asking of her and she said" mommy he needs help and if I have to go to Grams while you get him help then I am fine with that". It has been 3 weeks since he has been home and the process is very slow because there are not alot of options around my area for someone like him and I had to go to a doctor 65 miles away. She is treating him changed his meds and we are seeing her more often then his so called councelors.
As far as my son ever being sexually abused the answer is no he has not. Yes I am fearing that other children are at danger from him because I don't know what is happening with him as of yet no one can answer this for us. So I have taken steps to safe guard others. He has been with drawn from school and I have him at home doing nova.net so that he is not in contact with anyone he could hurt. Which has led to him leading the family dog to his room and now I have to even watch out for her. It is a very difficult ordeal that has made my mania go up and down since it all started but I stay in close contact with my doctor about it to make sure that I can deal with whats going on with my kids at the best of my ability. There is a few people I have trusted with this information but for the most part I am simply a mother trying to help her son with little help from the outside. His father is of no assitance he would just assume that he be locked away and never helped. He is not in the home and has little to do with either child.
When I dicovered all that had happened it was because my daughter and I talk about any and everything and she came to me.
His action upon his twin sister are what promted this entire situation. I was told by a councelor that if he even tried to force himself on her that I had to file charges against him, thus the day he did he laid atop her and held her down "humping her leg" and they both desribed it. I called the sheriff took him to the Emergency room for a eval and then he was arrested. He was in a detention facility for a little over a week and learned things from being there that I would never want my children to hear and see. By the way my twins are legally blind as well. I had to beg the court to allow my daughter to go to my parents home and he to come home with me so that he didn't pick up any other bad behaviors by staying in the detention center. I asked my daughter if she understood what I was asking of her and she said" mommy he needs help and if I have to go to Grams while you get him help then I am fine with that". It has been 3 weeks since he has been home and the process is very slow because there are not alot of options around my area for someone like him and I had to go to a doctor 65 miles away. She is treating him changed his meds and we are seeing her more often then his so called councelors.
As far as my son ever being sexually abused the answer is no he has not. Yes I am fearing that other children are at danger from him because I don't know what is happening with him as of yet no one can answer this for us. So I have taken steps to safe guard others. He has been with drawn from school and I have him at home doing nova.net so that he is not in contact with anyone he could hurt. Which has led to him leading the family dog to his room and now I have to even watch out for her. It is a very difficult ordeal that has made my mania go up and down since it all started but I stay in close contact with my doctor about it to make sure that I can deal with whats going on with my kids at the best of my ability. There is a few people I have trusted with this information but for the most part I am simply a mother trying to help her son with little help from the outside. His father is of no assitance he would just assume that he be locked away and never helped. He is not in the home and has little to do with either child.
When I dicovered all that had happened it was because my daughter and I talk about any and everything and she came to me.
Dear AB,
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate: I can't even presume to know if the ADHD and Bipolar have anything to do with ADD. I simply have no idea. That said, it sounds like the whole family needs support. If he has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar, does that mean he is under a psychiatrist's care? What do the medical professionals who diagnosed him have to say about this? What medication is he on? Who is his primary care physician? Is this individual someone you trust and is competent, and are they aware of his conditions? I don't know your son and what he is like? Do you sense that he is really out-of-control? Does HE seem confused about what is going on? Is it possible that he was on the receiving end of sexually inappropriate advances and this is why he is acting out? Also, how is your daughter faring? How does she feel about whatever happened? About her brother? About you? Doe she understand why she is with your parents? Is your family supportive? Is she getting whatever help she needs? It's really easy to focus on the child who has the "problems," the one who is acting out. Lastly, who is helping you? This all sounds overwhelming.
You may have some tough choices to make and for that, it seems like you may need help from skilled professionals. At the end of the road, it may be your daughter who needs to come home and your son who you need to make alternative arrangements for... Also, your daughter is out of the house but does your son still pose a threat to other young people? Have you spoken with him about what ocurred? You don't say and you don't need to, but you do need to consider for yourself the nature of what it is he did with-- or to-- your daughter, for example, did he FORCE her to do something against her will? How did you discover what happened. He was arrested, does this mean there was some court-ordered action? Whatever decisions you make now will affect the whole family... get informed help as soon as possible. Really, it's a balancing act: How to be honest about who your son is and what is dealing with without criminalizing him; how to get your daughter the help that needs and let her know that just because she is the one who is out of the home, it doesn't mean that she is less valued, really make sure you know what is going on with her emotionally, and what she needs to come out of this. Also, there's you, if you aren't doing well, then no one else will, either. Who is your support system, is there a father (co-parent) in the picture? Friends? Anyone at the kids' school? You may need help for yourself, too. I hope this helps.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate: I can't even presume to know if the ADHD and Bipolar have anything to do with ADD. I simply have no idea. That said, it sounds like the whole family needs support. If he has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar, does that mean he is under a psychiatrist's care? What do the medical professionals who diagnosed him have to say about this? What medication is he on? Who is his primary care physician? Is this individual someone you trust and is competent, and are they aware of his conditions? I don't know your son and what he is like? Do you sense that he is really out-of-control? Does HE seem confused about what is going on? Is it possible that he was on the receiving end of sexually inappropriate advances and this is why he is acting out? Also, how is your daughter faring? How does she feel about whatever happened? About her brother? About you? Doe she understand why she is with your parents? Is your family supportive? Is she getting whatever help she needs? It's really easy to focus on the child who has the "problems," the one who is acting out. Lastly, who is helping you? This all sounds overwhelming.
You may have some tough choices to make and for that, it seems like you may need help from skilled professionals. At the end of the road, it may be your daughter who needs to come home and your son who you need to make alternative arrangements for... Also, your daughter is out of the house but does your son still pose a threat to other young people? Have you spoken with him about what ocurred? You don't say and you don't need to, but you do need to consider for yourself the nature of what it is he did with-- or to-- your daughter, for example, did he FORCE her to do something against her will? How did you discover what happened. He was arrested, does this mean there was some court-ordered action? Whatever decisions you make now will affect the whole family... get informed help as soon as possible. Really, it's a balancing act: How to be honest about who your son is and what is dealing with without criminalizing him; how to get your daughter the help that needs and let her know that just because she is the one who is out of the home, it doesn't mean that she is less valued, really make sure you know what is going on with her emotionally, and what she needs to come out of this. Also, there's you, if you aren't doing well, then no one else will, either. Who is your support system, is there a father (co-parent) in the picture? Friends? Anyone at the kids' school? You may need help for yourself, too. I hope this helps.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the ADHD Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
What to expect in your growing baby
Is the PS3 the new Prozac … or causing ADHD in your kid?
Autism expert Dr. Richard Graff weighs in on the vaccine-autism media scandal.
Could your home be a haven for toxins that can cause ADHD?
