PLEASE, TALK TO ME! Learning to support ADD Fiance

[Crystlas]

Ok, any ladies with ADD husbands or fiances out there.  Or live with and ADD man?  We do live together and I wrote another post and one lovely lady answered.  We are now chatting, but I wish to learn from ladies with ADD partners!  I have tons of questions and I found some research out there, but nothing about his problem sexuality.  I have learned about helping him organize and stay on task and how to get him to focus on me when I need something.  He has also been very helpful in that department.  However, he has problems with the sexual side of our relationship and we are both worried about it.  My counselor told me that this is a normal symptom of ADD in men, but I can not find any articles to explain it.  We have a healthy intimacy level of making love 1-2 times a week.  The embarassing thing is his problem staying erect.  He knows I am reaching out here for help.  Sometimes we have to delay having sex due to this problem.  We are seeking coping skills from others with ADD in order to help our romantic interactions.  I hope someone will respond with personal experience in this department and some help for us.  Thank you.

[Crystlas]

Thank you so much for the info.  I will share it with him and see what our next move will be.  He just got new insurance so I will talk to him about it.  Thanks!

[Crystlas]

Thank you so much for the info.  I will share it with him and see what our next move will be.  He just got new insurance so I will talk to him about it.  Thanks!

[PACDC]

Well one of the side effects of adderall is changes in libido and impotence ( http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/amphet_ad.htm ) but if he is not taking adderall anymore then maybe he should see his family doctor to make sure that he doesn't have a problem elsewhere ( high cholesterol levels aka hyperlipidemia for example).  As a side note other medications such as effexor ( http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/venlafax_ad.htm ) which is also used for ADHD also have sexual side effects but there are other options like wellutrin with no known sexual side effects.  Please see your family medical doctor or psychiatrist for the best solution to your/his problem.  Hope that helps.  

[Crystlas]

Currently none.  He uses Adderall when he has something to do when he really needs to  concentrate on.  Adderall has screwed up his short-term memory over the years and also his sex drive. He does not want to mess with either anymore, so that he can remember things he has done and also to be sexual with me.  He has pockets of time he has totally forgotten about because of the Adderall.  He was put on Ritalin when he was first diagnosed at 7, then put on Adderall around the age of 12.  He quit Adderall a year ago and takes his remaining prescription spairingly.  So, I am living with a unmedicated ADD man that I love more than anything on this earth.  I want to be a patient partner to him.  I am bipolar and have no patience, especially when I am manic.  So we are a funny mix, but love each other dearly.  I am hoping to network here and learn to be as patient with him as he is with me!

[PACDC]

What are the medications he is taking?