reluctance to work

[querist1]

Our 21 year old son has these problems:

1. He has a history of difficulty in reading and writing. When in school he was assessed by special educators/ psychologists as having 'Disorder of written expression', 'difficulty in mechanical and expressive aspects of writing" and  'nonverbal learning disability'.

However it is not extreme and he is now about to graduate from a well – regarded college. We believe he managed to get into the college because admission was based solely on an entrance exam which was largely multiple choice. In college, he ranks in the middle of his class.

2. He is  reluctant/unable /unwilling to do work which in our opinion he is capable of doing and which he himself realises is for his good. Exam preparation and written assignments are a nightmare as he needs to be constantly goaded to do the work and it is very exhausting both for him and us (parents). Though he is anxious about completing his work, he escapes from it by diverting his attention to something like food or the internet. He has managed to get through his exams with a lot of help from us – we read out text to him and sometimes even write out his assignments.

Curiously, even where significant reading or writing is not involved, he seems to have a mental block to doing things. For example, he has to now send out applications to potential employers. Even when an application had been fully completed with our extensive help, he finds one excuse after another to delay sending it. Another example: his vocabulary rapidly improved when we 'worked' with him before his college entrance test, but he would refuse to learn even a single word himself from a simple guide book.

Daily chores are stressful too .He needs to be woken up, pushed to  brush his teeth , bathe, eat ,etc. I now call him on his mobile phone everyday to follow up. He has also become more and more dependent on us to do his work and to take the smallest of decisions

3.He sleeps too soundly, and oftentimes falls asleep while doing his work. He is also given to thumb-sucking when he sleeps soundly - and won't take the doctor's advice on how to stop this.
However, he is highly intelligent. He can analyse a situation or a piece of written work better than most. He is very mature and co-operative (except as indicated above), pleasantly behaved and diplomatic. He has never thrown a tantrum, even as a child! People who meet him come away terribly impressed.

Advice very welcome

[Sandman2]

    Excellent point on sleep apnea. Definitely worth looking into.
At what age was he  assessed by special educators/ psychologists ?  Was this done in a private school or a public school?  Are you in the US?

[allmymarbles]

Reading your first two paragraphs, it would seem that your son has done very well given his disabilities. I should think school work is very difficult for him. Just concentrate on his graduating. That is his biggest obstacle. And try not to be so dissatisfied with him. Life in the doghouse can be pretty grim.

[derpderpderp36]

get him tested for sleep apnea and if he doesn't have that get him tested for narcolepsy. narcolepsy in real life isnt always as dramatic and obvious as it is in the movies. adults with narcolepsy, as children their symptoms very closely resemble add.