Every time that you allow this abuse, you are allowing this man to destroy your self worth and confidence more and more. You must know dear, on some level that this man's behavior is NOT right!!! You need to talk to someone about this. Where are your parent's when you are going out to see this man? Do they know how much time you're spending alone with him? I understand that your parent's are the one that have chosen him to be your God parent, but are they aware of any of what you've told us?? I think you need to talk to a counselor at school immediately, and see what they have to say about all of this. The will be able to help you talk to your parent's about this
You're a beautiful young lady, and you need to be treated with dignity, and not suffer at the hands of this disgusting gross excuse of a man. It will affect you in terrible ways if you do not put an end to this now. Please save yourself from the heartache, of doing nothing about this, NOW!!!
You can talk to me about this personally, if you can. I may be able to help!!!
Liz
well put Rockrose and so true ...respect yourself he doesnt respect you for sure .
I want to add, that the reason I'm speaking this harshly is because I was once like you.
I didn't have the brass to stand up for myself, who knows why, and as a result had to squirm and worm out of situations where men would put their hands on me. I had to learn, by watching other girls reactions to that kind of thing, that it was completely off-base of me not to recoil very quickly, put a stop to it, and carry myself in a way that other men would realize I wasn't available for inappropriate sexual touching or behavior.
You have to do that too. You have to stop calling yourself gigglypants, and you have to carry yourself in a way you see other girls do - in a way that is friendly and approachable and caring, but that makes it CLEAR that they are not available as a victim.
I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm saying you're not trapped into this. For some reason, you're not able to socially disentangle yourself from this at the first hint of inappropriate behavior.
It doesn't matter that his wife was a "security guard". She's not a mafia hit man, with a contract out on you. She's your grandmother.
This is how sexual abusers work. They "test out" several possible victims, and get rebuffed very quickly by almost all of them. Then they find some who don't put up any resistance whatsoever, and who will in fact COVER for their inappropriate behavior, and they choose them as victims.
That's you. Someone who, when he attempted the first few "test" inappropriate behaviors, you didn't resist at all. And now you're in this relationship.
Put a stop to it. I promise your grandmother won't take out a contract on you.
And in the future, when you feel like someone is behaving inappropriately, immediately stiffen up and resist.
Yup totally inapropiate behavior have no more to do with him and tell your parents .
She's not trying to say it's all your fault, hon, but you are giving him power. If you say no and mean it, walk toward that door and out if you need to to protect yourself, you end his illusion of having power. Get out that door and run down the streets yelling if you have to to get attention and help if he tries to persist.
He is a pervert, sick-minded. He is to blame. You're just giving him power, and I think that is all RockRose is trying to get at. Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you have all the power to put a stop to this. So, please, tell your parents and avoid going to spend time with him. If he tries anything after you tell your parents, report him to the police. Heck, I'd report him to the police as soon as you get a chance, perhaps even before you tell your parents in case they decide to try to brush this under the rug and ignore it. He needs to be registered as a sex offender. You are a minor. He is abusing you and making you do things you don't want to.
well i was just looking for advice not a comment on how this is my fault and that i should have tried to get myself out of this mess. All im asking is for some support and strength to get through this. What makes this situation even harder is that his wife was a security gaurd.
He doesn't have control over you.
You've decided to give him control.
Most girls would have called 911 at the first sniff of this sexual abuse.
There are girls who will willingly submit to abuse, and girls who won't.
Sadly, actually, I'm kind of in your camp. When I was a teenager I would have submitted to abuse also.
thats been my nickname since middle school. we got them in gymnastics so im not going to drop it. Its not like i try and do it myself, this man has control over me right now, so its really hard knowing what he could and will do to me when he feels i have torn his family apart my turning him in.
Gigglypants, can you drop that really silly name?
You know this whole thing is wrong.
Tell your mother that he is doing this. You don't have to go out with this older man, and let him buy you sexualized clothing.
You know this. Other girls your age, who you know, wouldn't be doing this. Don't do it yourself.
Thank you so much. For so long I new this was wrong I was just lost in finding what to do about it. And now you've answered my question.
Tell your parents about this. Don't go over there and go to your room and lock the door or go for a walk if he's over to visit your family. This is NOT appropriate behavior at all.