Am I paranoid or is this trauma?

[helloalive]

I remember when I was eleven I was at the pool and this man came up to me and my friend and started talking to us and complimenting us with his penis exposed. I went to the bathroom after this and my friend told her mom and they got the police, but the man was gone.

I was at pools a lot that summer, swimming with that same friend. I later got a bacterial infection in my vagina and my mom asked me a bunch of questions to see if I had been raped since it resembled an STD. I cried and said no. I have two brothers ten years older than me, and she was afraid one of their friends had done something to me. I have no memory of anything like this.

I do have a vague memory from the pool that summer when I was showering. I felt very disoriented and I left the bathroom naked. someone asked if I was ok. the persons house I was at was my friend, her mother and aunt, her aunts husband, and her grandmother. I don't remember what happens after this, it's just blurry and embarrassing.

I have had a suicide attempt and many depressive episodes, and I have a healthy labido, but when I am doing anything sexual i feel too ashamed and lose interest. I don't know if any of the events of that summer are related. I don't know if my sexual shame is normal or the result of something else.