Losing the battle

[hopelessdreamer]

My daughter, then at time was 10. Her father at time took her a shower cause he said she was dirty. In her defense she says she wasnt. He did not touch her while taking this shower but watched her clean her body parts. It made her feel gross and wrong and very uncomfortable. She repeatedly asked him to leave and he said no. He watched her clean her body parts. Throughly. It made her so horrible and grossed out and wrong that she tried hiding in a corner to not let him see. We have been in a domestic and child abuse and neglect relationship with this man(her father) for 14 years. I finally divorced him cause of his abuse to me. There is another incident in dressing room where he took her in to change her bras for school. He watched her change her bras and made sure they fit her voluptuous body at being 10. I find myself not ever trusting him with her or my 5 year old daughter that he specializes in giving gifts and attention to. My question is, Is this appropriate cause this is her father and will it hold up in court so he doesnt do this to my other daughter?

[ShannonMeep]

That is not at all appropriate. And honestly if I were you and my daughter told me something like that, Mr. Man would be dead.

[number1nurse]

This is in  no way appropriate for a father to watch his daughter bathe and you stated she filled out by the age of 10 and she must of felt uncomfortable.
Thankfully you are seeking help and I hope justice is served in court.
I was in a relationship where I was so scared of my husband because he was very intimidating all the time and I know that any abusive relationship is hard and  if he is still abusive and believe me they are sneaky about how they do things to get to you, just keep your head up and everything will be fine. God sees all and he will pay for his actions.

[ROSYouralright]

Well said @AMM

[allmymarbles]

Two or three years before the onset of puberty father and daughter naturally behave more modestly towards each other. There are no rules about it; it just happens. I saw this with my husband and my three daughters and  remember life with my father and sisters. The fathers kept their distance. Your ex is a pervert.

[ROSYouralright]

No, its not appropriate.. Father or not! Good for you for reporting this & fighting him in court! Your daughter probably started feeling safe to talk once she was away from him. Thank you for elaborating. I know it can't be easy.
Keep pushing for justice..,

[hopelessdreamer]

They never spoke of it. Nine months till now we have been fighting him in court and I feel as if her outcrys are going unheard. She finally told me about incidents it shocked me when she began opening up.I immediatly called family violence center. Cps ruled it as appropriate due to hes their father. Hes manipulative and controlling to this day. He also lied in court saying he only brought her a bar of soap. We are all in counseling and he has supervised visits.. but as this case continues my daughter feels hes gonna hurt or do what he did to her to my five year old. I dont think its appropriate when she told me I was disgusted. I divorced him before all this cause of his abuse but was married 14 years. I was controlled,a used, manipulated and I feared for my life cause I was threatened he would kill me if Ieft or took his kids away.I protected my kids if he tried abusing them or was not home when incidents happened. As I said when we began to live our lives she became more open about abuse and incidents. They both have. I have a 15,14,5 and 4 year old. That are my life. So to my question. Is it appropiate cause hes her father?

[ROSYouralright]

You "finally divorced him because of his abuse to me," How long did you stay with him while he was doing this stuff to your daughter? Where were you when this was going on? Were y'all already divorced? Have you called the cops?

[kelsbby19]

If you have evidence of your daughter telling you that ig should hold up im court and him getting in major trouble! Stay away from that sick man. Far away. Reguardless if its there father or not sexual abuse espically at ten is so wrong! That poor girl..