I am sorry you are going thought this. You did not say if you are going through counciling, but if you are not, it might be time. I think that as adults, we feel that we have to be strong, and to a point that is true. This does not mean though that we are invincible. Tragedy hits and when it does while children need therapy, so do adults. I am not a parent yet, but I can only imagine the anger and pain that this caused. I was molested by my cousin when I was younger, so for me it was having to get through a tragedy as a victim. The thing is, even though you were not molested, you were a victim. Please see a therapist. Friends can listen to you, and people like I or others here can maybe relate in one way or another, and for sure you can stay on this site for support, but you need to see someone. The time for fighting is not over and as a protective mother it never will be, but the time to help yourself is here..
This is indeed hard for parents , you will learn to accept that it did indeed happen and you will endure . It does also have a knock on effect and families do get broken up because of one abuser. Talking it out good coming here to see that you are not alone abuse in families happens all to frequently, I hope your daughter is doing okay with her counselling ,you may want to consider that it may also help you through. Good luck
You do not mention where your husband stands in reference to this problem. Does he excuse his son? Does he blame you for taking action? Tell us more about him, please.
Also, how old was your daughter and what was the nature of his abuse?
I do not want to sound like I support the abuser, however has there been any kind of investigation into whether or not he was abused prior? The reason I ask is when I was 3 years old I was raped by a teenage cousin and I hated him and my aunt but I recently found out that he was brutally raped before I was born, and nobody did anything for him, had someone helped him perhaps I wouldn't have become a victims victim! I feel for your daughter I know how this feels and when it decides the family it's harder! You all need to get counseling and maybe dad can go with the accused to ensure he wasn't a victim A's well! Good luck to you all this can be the hardest thing in life to deal with<3!!!