His abuse has nothing to do with you. He needs help!! There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I don't know why some of us are put into these situations...You need to find someone to talk to. Get a counselor, there's so much they can help you cope with. No one deserves to be treated the way you are being treated by him. Some people just need help and beyond our reach. You're probably not at this point yet but, you need to start focusing on you. Stop trying to please him and make him love you. Start loving yourself. You can't change how he feels about you or why he does these things. You can change how you feel about yourself though. YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING!!! Don't let him break you sweetie...hang in there.
Leah dear Angel is right. The abuse has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He is the one who is broken and his parents or somebody who was before him was probably broken too. I am so sorry that you have to e going through this but you must know that it is never your fault and nothing is wrong with you.
Many of us do not have what God intends because other people make very bad choices. Choices that robs us of our chances of happiness. I dont know the type of abuse you are aluding to regarding your father but you seem to be quite angry and frustrated.
i felt the anger and scream through your tone. Leah you have to get help before this consumes you. i know its not easy but you have to take care of you. NObody can take care of you like you can.
i know you want your father's love but you need "YOUR" love more. You need to love yourself for the sake of not loosing all that is beautiful about you to everything that is going wrong. Reach out to someone and get the help you need.
People who abuse others are sick and broken. They know something is wrong with them and they know that what they are doing is wrong but its like an addict who is stuck on drugs and living in denial. Dont let Him bring you down with him. Stand up and get help now.
I am here for you Leah...all of us here are and we will be here but we cannot be there for you physically. You need to seek out that for yourself....please talk to someone or call a helpline
Love and blessings
We are here for you Leah so keep on talking we hear you, faithfulchild is right about getting some help.
Leah I am hear. I will be praying for you!! Abuse is hard no matter what type it is! It is NEVER YOUR FAULT! Your dad needs help. I agree with the others who have commented. YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING, YOUR ARE GOD'S CHILD! Don't ever feel God is not there. The Devil wants you to believe that. He is the one that puts all the terrible things in this world. Pray that God will help your dad. And even though your dad does what he does, love him. You will see a difference. Don't give up!! Sending you lots of Christian love! ^j^ ^j^ ^j^ sending some angels too!
baby i am 17 years old my daddy died when i was 4 i wished i had a daddy n 4 u to say that about yours makes me sick to my stomach cause i am hopen my daddy would have loved me. but i feel very unloved no one has ever told me they loved me but a boy in thats just to get in your pants all i got to say when he hits u turn the other cheek just keep your head up i promise god will not put nothing on you that u cannot handle when this is done u will be strong at that very strong dont give up n keep those beautiful eyes showing and I LOVE YOU
We all do,, you can come here to us anytime ,we will be your friends as others have befriended us, chalest I am so sorry you have felt like this ,you are 17 you will have a great life ahead of you, you are right when you say keep your head up thats exactly what you do, you move on life doesnt stay still, perhaps you have a job or a career ahead, college ,think of all the positive things that are waiting to happen to you.
when somene treats you terrible or you know someone is treating smeone ealse terrble you dnt tell them or yourself to turn the other cheek thats how abusers get more power dnt ever say im harsh i have been anything but harsh you never keep walking you turn around and stand on your own two feet and jump over them because you will always make it over never ever back down unlees your the abuser and i mean ever, i am very sorry 4 ur loss but that was very wrong 4 u to say something like that about my situation, if i would have listened my head would be spinning right now and i would be getting hurt.
but no matter what never back down if someone treats you wrong EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also do not have a father, but to me its not a bad thing. My father chose not to raise me and live his own life. I have been abused verbaly by a step father, but not bad enough to damage me. I just hope you know that when you are coming home from school and you fear is noticed by you, its the fear of what your not taking action on. There is something you can do..maybe its just standing up and showing him your not scared of him anymore..when you brgin to fight him, things may get worse, but they have to get worse to get better. Try a different look at the situation. instead of fearing your dads abuse look at it as khis weakness. You are a free soul and you do not need mom and dad to guide your life, make good desicions and take good action. Someone was saying in a comment to you, that, since your father is abusive, so was his parent. If you look at it as a learning experiance, you can stop the abusive trend your father is laying upon you, and start your family without the pain and hate your father is showing you. All you need is you to be happy, others are the help you have to notice the life around you. Show love to those who deserve it. Daddy doesnt if hes hurting you.
My sister needs all this love from out drug addictied mom, and she doesnt get it, so it hurts her..she realizing now that shes going to be out on her own soon, and we can expect to look for mom and dad for love and support..they are just as weak as anyone else. I hope this helps you.
Good post JasonNames I am sure your words will be some comfort to leah... how are you doing have you had any repurcussions from the verbal abuse,do you think it had some long term effect.I have always thought once you accept that it did happen ,you cant change it, that the abusers wont win by making it the focus of your life.
Hello Leah, there is a lot of good advice from people here. People do care about you and you can see that they too have suffered, all of us have known that words can and do hurt. Your fathers actions are probably his worst enemy, maybe he has suffered like us at some point in his life, maybe worse, then he has to relive it over and over again every time he puts somebody else through it. When we try so hard to control, it could very well be that it is because something has happened to us that we could not control ourselves, like the abuse, the words. Imagine the possibility of him feeling as much pain as you do, he's probably not as strong as he leads you to believe, in order for him to feel better about himself, he cannot let those around him know about his weakness. It's normal to him, but it doesn't mean you should have to deal with it, I sorry you do.
Leah, I waited much to long to seek help, please don't let that happen to you. Maybe in all this control, you have been made to feel ashamed if you were to let out the family "secret", I don't know, that's the way it was for me.
Break the cycle, do not take on your fathers shame, a counselor can show you how to do it, but you have to take that step. I know it's hard, but it's your first step to being free of the emotional pain you have. It will get better.
I hear you and I am here for you!! I got help (my PTSD is from sexual abuse too (panic, anxiety, depression and a myriad of site/sound/smell flashbacks) through a therapist that had great experience working with Combat related PTSD ~ and she saved my life!
Hang on to women ~ we'll save your *ss ~ some men might just want to grab it but Many, many, many of us have made it through years of horrible abuse and we are all here for you!!!! Come back here as often as you need to, private message any of the women that offer you safe, non-judgemental support and encouragement toward any kind of self-care and healing. Your spirit is strong!!!! You will find that others in similar situations will be put in your path and you will be of great service to them on your journey!! Love & Light ~ Peace & Respect, Woshi.
Honey if you read my post i DIDNT TELL YOU TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. I am here and praying evey day for you. I dont want you to back down but I do want you to get some help. Please look at you posts and realize I didnt write that. I am behind you 100%! Sending lots of love!! Babygirl
My heart is breaking for you. I know exactly how you feel. I was you once. All my life until I moved out I felt trapped and unloved. The abuse was unbearable. I felt ugly, used, neglected and just unloved. Please don't do what I did and put up with it. Talk to someone. A teacher, principal, counselor, a friends parent, your mom. ANYONE! You don't deserve this. You are beautiful. You have nothing to do with your fathers abuse. It's his fault, not yours. He's taking out whatever is going on with you because he feels helpless in dealing with is problems and feels better taking it out on someone who is less helpless than him. DON'T LET HIM DO IT ANYMORE! I will tell you, though, that when I moved out I talked to my dad and told him how he has always made me feel. We get along a lot better now but I wish I even sat down and talked to him back in high school. I remember trying a couple of times but he never listened to me. Maybe if I MADE him listen it wouldn't have been so bad living with him. You can try talking to your dad and telling him how you really feel. Maybe it will be enough for him to stop what he's doing and appreciate his beautiful daughter more. Please, if you need to talk or just to vent feel free to PM me. I really know what you're going through and it's not a great place to be in. You need to do something before your self esteem suffers. ((((HUGS))))
I had to read your comment 4 times because I could not believe what you told that poor girl!! Turn the other cheek!?!?!??? Are you kidding??? That is the worst advice I have ever heard!!!! You really should not be giving anyone advice on this subject!! And to imply that God has put this on this girl...NO NO NO!!! God does not cause your father to abuse you!!! I would say more like the Devil does, if you want to go by religion...
Leah, talk to someone about what is happening, a teacher, someone at church...someone!! I'm very glad to see that you understood that what one of the others said was sooooooo wrong, on sooooo many levels...I can't understand why the other people on this thread did not say so themselves...
chalest, did I misunderstand your comments, or do you really believe what you wrote??
What comments I only see one post from chalest on this thread and she doesnt mention God ,could you explain...??.
Hi Marypops, here is a partial excerpt from her comment "all i got to say when he hits u turn the other cheek just keep your head up i promise god will not put nothing on you that u cannot handle when this is done u will be strong at that very strong dont give up n keep those beautiful eyes showing and I LOVE YOU"
Below is the full comment:.
"baby i am 17 years old my daddy died when i was 4 i wished i had a daddy n 4 u to say that about yours makes me sick to my stomach cause i am hopen my daddy would have loved me. but i feel very unloved no one has ever told me they loved me but a boy in thats just to get in your pants all i got to say when he hits u turn the other cheek just keep your head up i promise god will not put nothing on you that u cannot handle when this is done u will be strong at that very strong dont give up n keep those beautiful eyes showing and I LOVE YOU"
I'm sorry but, I was absolutely floored by the whole comment and I just had to say something!! Believe me when I say that I read her comment at least 4 times before I said anything, just to make sure I was really seeing what I thought I was!!! I was also shocked that Leah herself was the ONLY person to say that what Chalest had said was wrong!! Please read Leah's answer to Chalest again...she writes it TO babygirl, but, babygirl was not the one that made the original comment, it was Chalest...please know that I would never have said anything unless I was absolutely sure of what I was talkin about...please message me when you have read this...
I am sorry... however I do not see that any of this on an old thread is going to help Leah I have nothing to add about religion, she was asking for help that was the main thing and that is what we are attempting to do . Apologies if its not what you want to hear.She has put 2 new requests up can you help her with them,
It had nothing to do with what I wanted to hear,more to do with what Leah needed to hear. I was just very surprised that a victim of abuse would be told to turn the other cheek and that no one had contradicted that statement. Even though the thread was a month old, I thought that Leah may check back or be alerted on her home page that someone had written something new on her old thread. I was attempting to help her as well...