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Abuse Support Community
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8959934 tn?1400984490

Emotionally Abused friend

Hello, I have a friend who is emotionally abused by his mom. One instance, it was few days before Mother's Day, his mom told him in all seriousness that he was lower than a dog. There are times that he would joke about not being able to reach in his 30s because probably he would be no longer in this world. I understand it was just a joke but I'm afraid that sooner or later he would really do it. I tried to assure him it was not his fault and that we are here to support him but he keeps on avoiding the serious conversation and would change the topic to lighter ones. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you so much.
4 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
Annie,  this isn't nearly enough information.  Is he still a minor?  Does he live with her?  Is he threatening suicide or is he just one of those people who believe they won't have a long life?

Is there a reason his mother would have said that to him?
8959934 tn?1400984490
Yep, he is still a minor. He lives with his parents, yes and he is even got a beating when his grades dropped down to B (his sister and brother are both achievers and his parents expect him to be one too). I don't know whether its a suicide threat or he is simply messing around but he doesn't like birthdays because it reminds him why he was even born. He hates adults and doesn't want to be grow up as one. *sigh*
I don't exactly know why his mom would do that but as far as I know his mom  rampages at his sister because she looks a lot like her dad. Yep, uncle usually get on auntie's nerve. I know its a little info but he doesn't want to talk about his situation and would try to avoid the topic always.
8976007 tn?1413330650
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse.

you can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  

If you truly think he is abused, call this number and let them investigate it
3060903 tn?1398565123
He's so lucky to have friends like you (you said "we" are here to support him). There are cases of early emancipation ,when a child can leave home and look after themselves, or he could to into foster care, but he would have to initiate such a proceeding. All you can really do is be there, if he wants to talk. and as you are, let him know you will support him in any way you can. Talk to him about being able to leave home after high school. He can get student loans, that will pay for his room and board elsewhere, while he studies and get's a degree. He needs to be preparing for post secondary, education is really the only way a child can obtain their freedom from their family of origin. This will not last forever, time goes quickly by when in high school Tell him to do his best in his studies,,so that he can go on to college/university. Talk about what kind of job he might like, what kind of post secondary education he would need. It sounds like his parents want that for him too, they just are going about it in perhaps an inhumane way, but it sounds like they care or they wouldn't be so invested in their kids getting good grades. Better a caregiver that wants the best for their child, then one that wants nothing for their child. It might not be the best situation, and i certainly consider a beating abuse, but if he does what he needs to do for marks, it sounds like they'll leave him to it and further physical abuse will not be the case.

Soon he can be off to college. Maybe you can suggest that he open up with a school counselor about him being beaten for getting a B? It sounds like he does need some therapy in order to be strong enough to build his own life, so he doesn't feel the need to follow a family that may be cruel.
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13167 tn?1327194124
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