How can I help them?

Question

I know two girls around my age both about 20-21. I just found out they have been physically, sexually and mentally abused since they were little girls. They still live with their mother who abused them, as far as I know both physical and sexual abuse has stopped. But they are still stuck with the mother that had let all this happen to them and she still controls them with threats of not having a roof over their heads. If they were still teens I could call childrens services and if there was still any physical and sexual abuse I could call the cops. But is there anything I can do to help them now?

anabelcrts · Answer

**us she should.be happy cuz we living together and our kids are good. U know good things but its sad that she doesn't... I was tired of my mom being so manipulate and that will hit me as many times sge wanted to she even got to call me bad names when I was still a Virgen and wouldn't even have a BF cuz she was on my case 24/7.. I didn't enjoy my teenage years at all. But I dnt regret nuthng I have done this whole time I bin with my husband cuz hes the only one that listens to me without judging cuz my only sister I have is mean with me too. She just like my mom getting in our lifes when they're not perfect.... Maybe them girls will realized that they had a good hand to move on but it might be too late for them!!!..

anabelcrts · Answer

Its just sad how some parents can treat their own children that way!!. They are so lucky that Ur a good friend ti help them out and they just dnt wanna move on and take the opportunity ur offering them!!. I am now 23 yrs old and live bery happy with my husband hes 27 and we have bin together since I was 15 now we have 3 bbys and im pregnant again. My case was similar to those girls and my only way out was getting huked up with my boyfriend back them wich now us my husband. We had our ups.and downs like every other couple but I Thank God sk much for putting him into my life hes a good dad really nice person. My mom use to beat me alot and bruce.my body like everyday I was going to school late cuz she use to hit me before I left the house. She left my dad cuz she'll tell us my hrothers and I that he use to beat her alot so we came with her. Im the youngest one of all were 5  the older one is 32 is a boy the is a girl shes 30 then is another boy of 29 and the 4th one is another boy of 25& me the last one but I berly noticed that she had an anger towards my dad and she took it on me  more than my other bothers cuz she would only hit me and always throw me un my face the things she bought me!. I had a terrible experience with my.mom.which now I dnt really talk to her cuz even thoe she sees im.good she be making stupid comments. I just dnt even know whats to have a mom and my dad He just passed away a yr ago I was about 6-7 when my mom left him and we use to communicate thru the phone and he was bery nice with me always cheer me up :-)) and I miss him so much that I cry for him still :’(.. And my husband tells me that my mom.is mean with

Nighthawk61 · Answer

Kudos to you for being there for the oldest girl to talk to. The very best thing for them both would be to leave together, and start their life together, even if the start is in a women's shelter. They need to concentrate their efforts on college, if they haven't already. It will give them power over their situation. I think they need to stick together, get out and get help. There are therapists often at women's abuse shelters, and this might give them the boost they need to move on. Thank God you are there for them both. God Bless you. Keep us posted about how this turns out.

margypops · Answer

I agree with you and its good that you can do this for them , be watchful and help them talk it through is they want to , sad situation which only they can fix.But great you are caring enough to offer support ..

HelloKitty444 · Answer

I'm actually more of an acquaintance then friend to them, but I'm more then willing to lend a hand if no one else does. Anyway I waited a few days to see how things seemed to be going and to learn more about their situation. Apparently there are no relatives around to help the girls. The eldest sister sadly can not work full time do to chronic pain but doctors haven't found anything wrong with her yet. Which is kind of too bad because going on something like disability could get her out on her own. But now that she is being so vocal about everything I think she might get the support she needs without me trying to step in. As for the younger sister, well she hasn't been saying anything about their past or current living situation. I'm not even sure if she would want to move out with her sibling, or crazy enough, if she even cares to leave that household. 

I guess all I can do is keep an eye on them from a far and offer emotional support/suggest counseling if they aren't already getting some. Thank you to those that took the time to write some suggestions!

AnnieBrooke · Answer

Agree with margy on counseling, can you help them find it?  Agree with Miss on them moving out.  Can you help them in any way with that?  Poor girls, they are going to need to work on this for the next many years, to get their awful upbringing out of their heads.

MissmyAngel · Answer

Maybe these two sisters should be encouraged to find a place together, and split the bills. I think all you can really do is be a positive support system for them, with some encouragement hopefully they will learn to fly on their own.

margypops · Answer

Sounds like they need some counseling to help them if that is possible, do they work? I would say they do need to leave the house and find somewhere to live away from her,if its as extreme as it sounds .Are there any other relatives around may be able to help?