I don't have an answer for how to get out. All I know is you should.
That is not a normal relationship. You should be happy, not controlled. Leave. Find a better life for you and your kids. I hope your income comes back soon too.
Bring your son to the police station, and tell them that your partner has threatened your life. It doesn't matter if he's threatened your life if you leave him, he has still threatened death. When you get to the police station tell him that you need someone to look after your son while you have a conversation. Tell them that your son will tell his father that you went to a police station, and that both you and your son's life from this day forward are at risk. Tell them that he has hit you on occasion. Tell them that he has stolen your purse and did not allow you keep your identification up to date. Tell them that his mother has stolen your identity and gotten you in debt. Tell him you are terrified of him always, but especially since finding needles that indicate he is back to using (heroin?) drugs. Tell them everything. Leave with nothing if you have to, but tell them you need a restraining order since he threatened your life if you left him. Tell them you need safe housing out of state. You are terrified that he will take your son and physically harm him as he has you. You are terrified that he will kill your son as he has threatened death.
Get the charges for threatening death in the works. Put it out there that you have proof (seen needles) that he's using hard drugs again, and he'll have to test clean to even visit his son on supervised visits. If you've known the mother to be a drug addict too, make sure that you discuss this with examples of how you knew etc. so that the mother doesn't have visitation.
You have an income to raise your child, disability. You need to move and regain your disability. You said you were taken off disability or getting pregnant twice. (i had to shake my head for a second, when i read that). I don't understand what becoming pregnant has to do with disability. If you are disabled because of physical problems, and cannot work it doesn't mean that you can't have sex missionary style. (no gymnastics). If you were disabled because of mental disability , again, you can have mental disability and not be able to work and can still be a mother?
I guess you're talking about welfare disability and they found out that you were living with a partner? and that's whey you were cut off? I'm not sure, but i do know that you are eligible if you got away from this louse. So, you have to DO IT> at a police station.
I'm sorry that you chose to have a child with this man because he too can get a lawyer and fight to see his son, or for full custody maybe bringing up some vice of your own, and fight you toe to toe in court.
You need to get out of there, It is like you are living in pergatory, i know, cuz i've been there. Plan on staying at an abused women's shelter, and using the resources to get a real good life going for you and your child. Stay away from using alcohol or drugs. It 's too easy to fall into bad habits trying to drown out the symptoms of ptsd. That i know too well. Get help right off the bat with addiction if you cannot stay clean and sober (the way your child needs you to be).
I'm here if you'd like to keep in touch. Shoot me a message on my profile page and i'll help you through this, i've been in exactly the same spot you are, but the physical abuse was worse. If you stay, the physical abuse will probably get worse for you too. I do believe that once a man hits a women, it will continue to progress. (like addiction).
Take care of yourself and your child. That's what you should do. I'm glad you reached out here, and i hope you get out so you can start to have a real life.
If you need to further your education, start now to think about what you would like to do. It sounds like you need therapy. You have no family and you got pregnant twice with an abusive man. It sounds like you could use a good therapist immediately to stop you from getting attached to another loser and possibly having another child with another dangerous man.
Please trust in the police to help get you situated in a shelter designed to get you back on your feet.
Think restraining order, threatening death charges. hard drug use by father and grandmother? Get going. lt will only get worse where you are.
First of all I am so sorry this happening to you. Your bf is extremely insecure and it seems from what you said about his mother, he has also had a tough life but this is not an excuse to treat you this way, many abused people promise themselves and become the opposite of what they went through. No woman deserves what you go through and you do not want your son to be like your bf. I would suggest you look on womenshelters.org ,many if not all of these shelters accept children. Go to one of these and while you are there, they will have someone like a counselor or a case worker who can give you all the info you need as far as resources. You and your child must leave this situation asap. People like your bf and his mother don't change and if they do its not for the better. What if your son found your bf heroin or whatever he is booting and ate even a small amount of it? He could die. You must leave. Please leave, if not for yourself than for your child. He is better off without this man. There are plenty of good men in this world who would date a woman with a child and care for a child who is not theirs. There are good men out there. Good Luck sweetheart. :)