help me im haunted

[minki306]

i was sexually abused as a child by a family friend. i've never told my parents. i've only told 3 people growing up. the man who did this to me is dead now. my problem is i am 19 and it is still haunting me. i can never get a good night of sleep as the nightmares are so bad i wake up in a cold sweat and struggling to breath because when i sleep i stop breathing. i don't want to sleep anymore because i'm so scared. i'm still afraid of the dark. please help me this is ruining my life.

[princy100]

Hi.. Am sorry to hear in this age you are undergoing so much stress... Go attend counselling and hang out with friends and don't get into any bad habits that may still ruin your life.. Talk to your parents and you will feel even better..

[allmymarbles]

How long is it that you have wakened because you couldn't breathe? If it is a problem of long standing then I go along with RockRose that it might be sleep apnea. However, if the condition is relatively recent you might wake because a nightmare has triggered a panic attack. In any case you need to speak to a professional who can guide you down the path to emotional health, a professional who is familiar with this terrible sort of trauma. Take heart. With the right help you will get over it. We women are resilient.

[BluCrystal]

HUGS!!!  You should be in counseling, even now, and especially since you are having so much trouble.  Please look into getting rape counseling.  You can also browse the web for sites that specialize in support of rape survivors.  God Bless you, and may Angels crouch on your pillows and protect you as you rest... you need it so badly. - Blu

[RockRose]

minki,  I'm sorry you're going through this.  

I think you've got a couple things going on here,  and some of them are medical.

What you're describing,  "when I sleep I stop breathing" sounds like sleep apnea.  Google it - I think you'll find some answers there.   Sleep apnea causes you to stop breathing in your sleep,  and is extremely dangerous.  There are two kinds:  obstructive (these people snore,  and their throat actually becomes blocked during sleep) and non obstructive (these people don't snore,  and their brain switches off the signal to breathe when they sleep,  causing them to wake up in a panic gasping for breath).  

Sleep apnea can cause depression and anxiety,  and horrible nightmares.  It's likely this is what's happening to you.  You may have apnea,  and the resulting depression and anxiety that comes with this sleep disorder,  and are attributing that to childhood molestation, and focusing on your past sexual abuse history.

Can you go get in a sleep study?  Apnea is easy to diagnose,  although not as easy to treat.