How do you retrain your brain after years of physical abuse and rape?

[Ghostgirl27o]

I'm having a lot of physical pain stil six months after my trauma.  I hate going to docs cuz of my fear of finding out things actually happend and its not in my head.  How do u trust people again and believe in your self when there's been so much verbal abuse. I'm suffering from depression so I don't know if these pains are real or mental pains.  How do you tell and when do you just bite the bullet and go get checked out?

[Nighthawk61]

How do u trust people again and believe in your self when there's been so much verbal abuse?

You have to learn that what other people do or say, does not define you. Is your current bf verbally abusing you?

[RockRose]

Ghost - you don't have to apologize for "dark posts"!!  I didn't mean to suggest that -

I'm sure it gets worse at night.  I understand the racing,  circular thoughts . . .

Prayers for healing.

[Ghostgirl27o]

Sorry for the dark posts. I didn't realize that. It was not my boyfriend. No I don't think any one did that kind of surgery .  I was just forced for years and left my abuser five months ago and I'm trying to rebuild my life with support from family friends and a therapist. I'm just really confused a lot right now it just gets worse at night

[RockRose]

It's unlikely a doctor is going to be able to look at your body and tell you things about your past history of abuse that you are unaware of.

You've written several very dark posts - do you believe it's possible that your former boyfriend performed some kind of body altering surgery on your genitals that you are unaware of?

[margypops]

For me I would say that you do go bite the bullet' but I appreciate how hard that is to do ..I do believe that speaking out is helpful and some therapy if you can get it would be a good thing ..After all the Doc is there to help you and will refer you on to any quarters may be useful..Sometimes if you procrastinate you wont get there, seeing as you are here shows to me that you are ready...good luck