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Avatar universal

In desperate need of help

My live in boyfriend has a foot fetish.  A few months ago I caught him smelling and kissing my 7year old daughters feet.  He also was masturbating!  He told me he has done this to her once before, that he'd never do it again and he doesn't like little girls.  He is also a victim of child molestation.  I love him but am afraid all the time for my girls.
12 Responses
93654 tn?1247499334
Your first priority is protecting your daughters. He has admitted to doing this once before, but most likely it's been more than that. And I'm sorry, but if he didn't have a preference for young girls then he would only be engaging in this behavior with you. Get your daughters away from him before this behavior escalates.
Avatar universal
i will say that you need to go now do not wait or it may be to late for your daufgter and if you love her get  out now or you will be partly responsible if anything happens  lots luck  jo
212795 tn?1194952574
I agree with the above comments.  You need to get away from this guy... and I beleive you know this in your heart.  Do the right thing for your children - they need to come first.
332074 tn?1229560525
I think you have been lucky that you found this out. Now, you need to take action before it is too late. Sadly, it will mean that you have to breakup with your boyfriend, but the safety of your child depends on you.
370143 tn?1206679669
get out of there now!! please go before your daughters are mentally or physically hurt!!!
Avatar universal
Your boyfriend committed a crime by what he did to your daughter - the masturbation and I assume exposure combined with his arousal to her feet. He needs help and your daughter needs your protection. Did you talk to her about it? What did she say? Did she tell you what happened in the past? What action have you taken. You could be held liable if this continues and you do nothing.
136956 tn?1425606272
that is just sick and twisted, you need to get out of there now pronto, anyone that can do that to a child is sick.  What did your daughter say?  There would be no hesitation for me i would be gone in a heart beat wouldnt look back and press charges or something, he could end up doing something worse if he hasnt already, you can stop him
423143 tn?1205952413
I was molested for 2 years as a very young child (age 5-7) and I remember every second of it.  I wet the bed until I was in the 5th grade.  Every birthday I wished for amnesia.  I was in therapy for about 10 years and I am still not 100% ok with it.  I hate my mother for not protecting me.  I felt that it was just as much her fault as the man that did that to me.  I attempted suicide in the 5th grade.  Finally, I requested to go in foster care when I was a freshman.  You need to protect your daughter.  Your daughter will remember this and I guarantee that it has already caused permanent problems.  You need to talk to her about it and let her know that you will always be there for her.
436973 tn?1217947089
Leave him.  Your daughter needs you to protect her.  Please do everything possible to keep her away from him.  Get her therapy, let her know that she is your top priority.  
Avatar universal
Do you love your children? Excuse me for being so blunt. Never put **** before your children. You should not even HAVE to question this!!! His perverted *** should have been
out that door the moment you knew. On some level he has already molested your child.
can you imagine the fear in your daughter's face when she saw him do that!!?!? Not knowing what in the hell was going on and not having anyone there to protect her!!!?!??

What must your daughter be thinking if her mother saw it and did not get rid of the man who made her feel unsafe? Can you imagine the issues she will have later. If you don't do something NOW she will later hate you.

Now, I know I am being harsh, but this is why. My mother had friends of hers babysit me as a 6 yr old. Everyday I was molested and eventually raped. My mother to this day does not know. It is not her fault, but on some levels I blame her quietly. I blame her for being too trusting and for not being there to protect me. If I tell her now it would only kill her emotionally  that she was not there to protect me. So you see, if I hold a little grudge against my mother who never knew, how much more will your daughter against you?

No matter how good things are between you two right now, get him out!! He sure as he'll will do it again. If not, one time should have been enough for you to know the right move, as your child's mother and protector!
Avatar universal
don't believe him!! This is the beginning of something and YOU will carry the guilt for the rest of your life if he does something worse to her and you could have prevented it. Your choosing him over your child. I recently found out my now EX boyfriend fondled my 9 yr old dtr on 3-4 occassions. The SAME day she told me, I called the POLICE!! I was with him for 2 years, not one fight or anything and spoiled both of us to death and was a wonderful father figure and I considered a life with him. In hind sight, I think of the innocent sitting on his lap while on the computer, the tickling and wrestling whereby I always had to remind BOTH OF THEM she was "too big" for certain types of play(what bothered me more was that she was begging to develope!) and his is a FIREMAN!! This just happened this PAST MONDAY and today is thursday and since the, she's received a forensic interviewed(hidden mirror/kid friendly room), with detectives,doctor, social worker behind mirror and interview conducted by psychologist. THEN afterwards, we were broght to a  special doctor to rule out penetration(which she stated never happened and the exam concurred). We're taking it one day at  a time and she begins her weekly therapy. First and foremost, she knows I CHOSE HER OVER HIM and although she "still loves him" and "misses the fun times", she knows even FRIENDLY people do wrong things and it's OK to tell someone you care about that what they are doing is uncomfortable! Think about it! He has a foot fettish that he gets off on and he "pleasuring" himself with your child feet! KICK HIM TO THE CURB and don't let "not wanting to be alone" make you keep him around!
470658 tn?1210868219
Oh my gosh...I mean I know nobody has written a post in a long time, and I just joined medhelp, so I am new to all this, but wow, girl you have to get rid of him. molestation is no joke, and this guy is sick. You need to get away from him. Men like that...never change even if they say they will. Even if they say they will "never do it again.." Please get rid of him. Your poor daughter is going to be scarred for life, and she will have trouble making bonds with people, especially men. I know trust me.
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