Is it normal to draw pictures of a penis as a preschooler?

[Emmie1966]

When I was 3 years old my mother was late picking me up from preschool and I have a vivid memory of waiting in the church hallway where the school was located. Associated with this same memory is a man unzipping his dress pants. They were a reddish brown color. This was my youngest sexual memory which my mother assisted me is determining if it was real or not after I described the hallway & the doorway I was waiting by she confirmed that the location was real.
My next memory was at around the age of 5 when I was drawing pictures of a man with a very large penis that was actually longer than his legs. At this age I also I approached my father and asked if I could see his penis. I refused me. However, i asked repeatedly becoming upset when refused.
My todays standards, I was severely abused by my mother as a child. Many neighbors from my past have identified her as being overly stern, or they actually said abusive, when describing their memories my early life.
When playing with Barbie dolls, I would have my Ken doll being aggressive with the female dolls hitting them and shoving them around and doing sexual acts with them.
I masturbated frequently and at night I would shove my stuffed animals, dolls and toys in my pajama bottoms.
At 12 I was taken to a remote area by a 19 year old man who proceeded to force me to give him a blowjob and I was numb & didn't fight back even though I was disgusted by what he was having me do. He continued to rape me & force his intentions on me for years.
I am now 50 & I have had many failed relationships with both men & women. Most recently with a man who beat me severely, was emotionally abusive, would force me to remain in the bedroom for days at a time & insisted on sex even when I wasn't interested & eventually was arrested for domestic violence and is in jail.
I have been treated for depression & mental health issues my entire adult life. Each time I was medicated.
I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, dissociative identity disorders, panic attacks as well as TBI from the beatings.
Do my young memories & actions depict that I was molested as a child? Would this also explain the inability to say no or fight back when faced with any form of abuse?

[RockRose]

Since you have a clear memory of being raped repeatedly at the age of 12,   I'm not quite sure I understand your question of whether you were molested as a child.

It seems there are a number of traumatic episodes in your life,  and now you are unable to function normally in relationships.  

Often in psychotherapy there is a focus on deciding why the person is injured,  exactly all the details of what caused the injury,  rather than changing the behaviors and thought patterns of the person.  

If your leg were mangled and broken,  the emergency room doctors wouldn't be focused on exactly what the scenario was that caused the break,  but rather,  let's put it back together where it's functioning and doesn't hurt so much.  If a house is damaged by a tornado,  the contractors don't go over and over the weather reports from that day,  and try to determine the direction and strength of the storm,  but rather,  they shore up the structure and patch the roof.

Read Bad Childhood,  Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  At 50,  it might be more helpful to move forward.  Best wishes.