Mentaly abusive care taker

Question

Hi im Ange im 14 and i dont know wether my carer is abusive or if im just overreacting. My Carer is an educated woman and she takes care of my brothers little sister and i. I know she has alot on her plate with all these kids to look after and bills to be paid but she is a bit agressive. When my brothers or i dont do a job properly she shouts really loudly in our faces and sometimes calls us idiots, **** heads and morons as well as other stuff. She continually swears at us and looks for things to shout at us about once were finished our jobs. She particulary doesnt like me because i told her on multiple occasions that her use of words and punishments were over the top. Every time she comes home i feel stresed out that i didnt do sometjing rtight and ill be shouted at. I try to say to her that raising your voice doesnt make us listen better but she just gets super angry. I want to move out but im not old enough and dont have any money. Is this abusive behaviour?

Nighthawk61 · Answer

I'm so sorry to hear of this abuse. I also suggest you not confront this abuser, but go and tell someone in the position to protect you.

AnnieBrooke · Answer

If you feel the person to whom you would report this behavior (her employer?  a family member?) won't believe you, see if you can borrow a small tape recorder and have it in your pocket when she is around.  Some recorders can even be set to turn on when a voice speaks.  That way you can have a way to prove she is doing what you say she is doing.

RockRose · Answer

Ange,  I also wonder if there is someone she answers to, and what this situation is that you're in.   Are you in a group foster care home and she comes in for her shift?  

Yes,  this is abusive behavior.  But I think one lesson you could learn from this is,  if someone is abusive to you it's not in your best interest to back talk them if they have power over you.  Telling her that her words were over the top and raising her voice doesn't make you listen any better is not going to result in a positive outcome for you.  If you were dealing with someone who was rational and who was trying to do her best,  feedback is sometimes helpful.  If you're dealing with a bully and she has power over you,  don't take her on yourself.  You will lose.

Best wishes.  I agree with Annie,  best to go to her employer,  whatever your situation is.