I thin you're going to feel alot better if you get a part time job so good luck with the job hunting.
On the other hand, i think your mom is going to want you to start to give her your paychecks to help to pay bills, so the only way to get around that, is to get a part time job, get a student loan and get a room in a university rooming house.
You never answered when i asked before, You say you've been in University for 3 years, of a 4 year commitment. How have you been paying for school? is your mom paying for school so far ?
Also, jf what you are saying is that you purposely cut your hand with a knife during a fight then you have to talk to your doctor and let him know about your situation and that you are self harming and your depressed. There are MANY things you can do to try to fight depression on your own, instead of just automatically resorting to medication. It seems like your depression is caused by your mother, so it would be better for you to leave and live on your own, rather than to take drugs (which ALL HAVE NEGATIVE side effects). Please, think about ACTION to take to make your DEPRESSION SELF HARM minimize and go away!!.
Here's a helpful article on the subject of SELF HARM.....
There are a number of self-harm, self-help techniques that can reduce the risk of serious injury or minimize the harm caused by self-injury. This list is not exhaustive - different people find different things useful in various situations. So if one self-help tool doesn't work, try another. You might also find these suggestions become more effective if you are getting professional self-injury treatment; working with a mental health professional.
Self-Injury Self Help Techniques
Stop and try to work out what would have to change to make you no longer feel like hurting yourself (take our self-injury test for insight)
Count down from ten (nine, eight, seven)
Point out five things, one for each sense, in your surroundings to bring your attention on to the present
Breathe slowly - in through the nose and out through the mouth.
If you still feel like cutting yourself or using other ways to self-harm, try:
Marking yourself with a red water-soluble felt-tip pen instead of cutting
A punch bag to vent the anger and frustration
Plunging your hands into a bowl of ice cubes (not for too long, though)
Rubbing ice where you'd otherwise cut or harm yourself
(Helpful information on Self-Harm Alternatives and Cutting Help and Treatment)
Self-Harm Self Help Coping Tools
There are several other self-injury, self help ideas you can implement to help yourself better cope with self-injury:
Acknowledge that this IS a problem, that you are hurting on the inside, and that you need professional assistance to stop injuring yourself.
Realize that this is not about being bad or stupid - this is about recognizing that a behavior that somehow was helping you handle your feelings has become as big a problem as the one it was trying to solve in the first place.
Find one person you trust - maybe a friend, teacher, minister, counselor, or relative - and say that you need to talk about something serious that is bothering you.
Get help in identifying what "triggers" your self-harming behaviors and ask for help in developing ways to either avoid or address those triggers.
Recognize that self-injury is an attempt to self-sooth, and that you need to develop other, better ways to calm and sooth yourself.
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-self-help-self-help-coping-skills-for-self-harm/
Get to a counselor at school......
Did you miss an appointment for an actual job interview, or were you just going to look for work? It's okay that you missed one day looking for work, you can start to look again.....
Ignore your mom, That means that when she starts an argument , think about something else and instead of showing emotion, show lack of emotion,. If your mom does not get a rise out of you, she may not bother trying to get you to quarrel. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. (it takes two to dance). If you IGNORE HER, she will not get under your skin.
How to do that ? Think of a song, and single it in your head when she's being rude or mean to you.
It's hard because we are not there, so we cannot see what it is that your mother is doing, but if what's she's doing is wrong, all you can do is to LEAVE HOME, or IGNORE HER. Those are your choices. The ONLY OTHER ONE BEING , you can TRY to talk it out like an adult.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Good luck with the job hunting.
Liz