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Parents possibly using Cocaine

First some background. My parents were never perfect. My mom and dad both drank to much and fought because of it when I was little. Then my mom quit for my brother and me she threatened my dad that she would leave him and he quit. That was when I was probably 7-12. They have always been open with me and I later found out my dad enjoyed doing acid in his teen and early twenties. They both had cocaine issues in the past. Both of them still smoke bud.  My mom is Bi-polar, and I believe my dad has suffered with depression forever.

NOW I am 36 and my parents seemed past their addictions until two years ago. My mom started fighting with my dad all the time. I haven't lived with them since I was 15 and assumed it had to be her bi-polar and his depression from losing his dad. Things got really bad about 1yr and half ago. She was losing it fully and my dad just always seemed angry. That is when my sister in law who lives with them reached out for help. My brother didn't want her to, but she couldn't take it anymore. Her, my brother and their two kids live with my parents. The fighting between my parents had gotten so bad that they couldn't be outside of their rooms because they never knew when my parents would allow the fighting to flow into the living room.

After talking to her I realized there was a lot of signs that my parents might have fallen into some of their old ways. However, we never got around to doing anything about it. Things seemed a lot better about a month later. It seemed ok for the most part until July of this year. At which time my dad found out his older brother had cancer. They began to fight often again and my mom seemed like she was losing her mind. Up until this month I assumed it was just her Bi-polar and my dads depression over his brother.

Saturday though my sister in law called again to let me know that if things didn't get better at their home and my brother wouldn't move...she would be leaving to Dallas with the kids. She let me know that my parents were starting to show signs they were on something. My mom had blisters on her lips, they would both be up late hours of the night and hyper and getting along so well. Then in the mornings they would be fighting. She also noticed that these behaviors revolved around their paychecks. My brother and her had found baggies too. When I look back I know my dad seemed more talkative at times and they like to come to visit super late. My mom and him would be fighting during the day and my mom always seemed lost. She would repeat the same story over and over again. I believe they can be on Coca.

Here is where the question comes in. Should I confront my mom, and if so how? My sister in law says my brother has tried and my dad just gets mad and my mom tells them they don't know what they are talking about. My brother told my sister in law he cant talk to our parents but doesn't want to leave them because they wont make it on their own. Me, personally I don't know how to confront them either. I love my mom but I left because I couldn't be around her 24/7. I know my dad wont hear us out. WHAT ARE WE TO DO?

I am mainly concerned for my sister in law and my brother's relationship. I told her straight out I don't blame her if she leaves. However, I feel the same way my brother does that my parents wont make it on their own. WHAT TO DO, and how TO HANDLE This?
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Avatar universal
Cocaine’s effects are short lived, and once the drug leaves the brain, it leads to a “coke crash” that includes depression, irritability, and fatigue. Smoking crack/cocaine can produce a particularly aggressive paranoid behavior. When addicted individuals stop using cocaine, they often become depressed. Prolonged cocaine snorting can result in damage of the mucous membrane of the nose
1 Comments
I know all of that. My question is how to confront my mom and dad, or if i should.

All the things that come with cocaine also are bipolar and could very well be depression itself. This is what my mom says is going on. I just dont believe it fully and dont want to lose them to thus.
973741 tn?1342342773
This is a hard one, SeizureAdvocate.  You aren't a child and aren't dependent on them.  I know, though, that you want the best for them.  I guess you could gingerly ask your mom without judgement in your voice (fake it if you have to) and if she begins to react badly, retreat.  Lots of parents and whatnot did experiment with drugs in their youth.  I'd not really hold that as an item pointing to current drug use.  I don't know if alcohol just made their problems worse or if they were a alcoholics when you were a kid but it sounds like if they had an alcohol abuse problem, they got sober. (right thing to do with kids in the house, they get a pat on the back for that . . . and NO parents or people are perfect . . . so that's great they made that effort).  I'd consider that unless you see something 'yourself' that your sister in law sounds MAD at the family.  She may be causing undue trouble.  You can broach the subject but I wouldn't do it just based on her comments.  I'd go visit them.  Check it out yourself.  ??  When is the last time you've seen them?  what is your own perception of things?
2 Comments
Confronting them was not based on just her. My brother is concerned as well but doesnt want to upset them.

I speak to my mom daily my sister in law observations are completely true. My mom admits that my dad and her are fighring over nithing. She admitted they stay up all hours a good amount of the time. In addition she got very defensive when i let it slipped i had talked to my sister in law. All i said was that my sister in law said she needed to go to Sams club. The next hour was used to convince my mom, that i was on no one side. I told her no one was judging her but worried about her and my dad.

My parents were true achololics. They hid acholoh and drank whenever thry could.

I dont want to think negative of them. I just need them to be ok.
I do want to point out that alcoholism has a continuum.  There is alcohol abuse which is probably more what your parents had going on if they drank whenever they could, even when they hid it.  Alcoholics often don't just drink whenever they can, they drink always.  I have been very close to an alcoholic.  No work.  No nothing.  Either boozing or in bed sick.  And they don't really hide it, they can't.  Bottles, cans, cups and pee on the floor, I mean, alcoholics do not clean up after themselves very well.  It's terrible. BUT, the good news is you say that wherever they fell on the spectrum, they were able to leave it.  That's great and I'd give them some credit for that.  

I mean, I guess you could ask the if they ever use drugs and then wait for them to get over having a fit you asked the question. But really, I think you're not going to get very far.    Sad to say.  Luckily you are an adult with your own life.  I hope they stay healthy and it's just a misunderstanding over all.  
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