I have been seeing a guy for over a year - he is charming, supportive, helpful, intelligent...I care very much about him. However, there are some odd things he believes that I can't figure out. For example, he won't call me his girlfriend because he says "then people will think we're just having sex all the time." He insists that we are "friends". We have never had intercourse because he thinks it's "dirty." I know those types of statements are sometimes the result of abusive situations, which has me concerned. I think I might know the source, but I'm not sure. My BF (or "friend") has another female friend whom he's known for 12 years. This woman has Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and many other issues. She has attached herself to him, yells and screams at him when she senses rejection, is obsessively in love with him, accuses him of sleeping with every girl in the neighborhood, and generally tries to control him. Now mind you, she lives 1500 miles away and still does this! He swears they've never been sexual, although he did say that she yanked his pants down and grabbed his penis once. He did nothing about that. He denies it's a big deal. What bothers me, other than his insistence that he has to "fix" her, is that he demands that I accept her as his "baggage" and that I be understanding when he has to fly to see her and constantly take her abuse. He himself is not emotionally healthy - he withdraws affection from me at the slightest hint of being "rejected," which he says I do (when I don't do exactly as he expects). It often feels like he's passing the abuse on to me. I have tried to stick with him and he has agreed to go to counseling, but I don't know what to do anymore. He will not relinquish his relationship with this abusive woman, and says that once he "fixes" her, then we can have a normal relationship. He admits that she is a "heavy weight around my neck" but he refuses to cut ties. What else could be going on? He gets mad when I suggest he has feelings for her. I have never been allowed to meet her or accompany him on his trips to see her. Not that I want to meet her - she'd probably kill me so she can have him. She has threatened me, too. Any help guys? Thanks.