Roofied and Don't Know If I Was Raped

[SensoryPeaceOfMind]

(Just posted in Women's Health so I apologize if this is a Double Post for Some)

Ok, so I was roofied.  I blacked out and was without my friends for approximately 40 minutes.  Toward the end of 40 minutes I remember sitting outside--a stranger was comforting me (i.e. hand on back) telling me it was going to be ok.  I *think* I tried to kiss him and he refused.  I remember passing out, outside by myself.  I was outside of a bar and my friends were inside.  Him and my friend talked on my cell phone (I don't know who called who) and he told her she needed to go get me.  She did.  The next morning I had no bruises, scrapes, and my clothes were intact.  (I bruise very easily) There was vomit on my shoes.  I didn't *feel* like I had been raped.   But I don't remember anything in those 40 minutes and no one I know was there to fill in the blanks.  Do you think it's possible to be raped without any physical signs (e.g. bruises) and without *feeling* like you were?  Thank you for you help.  

[lowrider144]

Sounds like you were neither roofied nor raped. Sounds like a a good old fashioned case of the drunks.

I dont believe roofies last approximately 40 minutes lol. That sounds more like enough time to have your drinking catch up with you, get sick (explaining the vomit) pass out and start coming to as the alcohol wears off slightly with  little recolection of what happened and a guy rubbing you, who was likely the one there helping you to make sure you werent getting too sick. Sounds to me like you need to get your act together and stop blaming roofies.

[SensoryPeaceOfMind]

"However, that being said, there is a very small possibility that the person who spoke to your friend was not the one with you the whole time, and perhaps saved you from being raped and it is very possible that you were molested in other ways."

@sadmomma4.  Yes, I had the same thought that you expressed here.  My intuition tells me that I got lucky, and I am definitely not going to count on getting lucky again.  I appreciate you sharing your stories, about your own rape experience and about what happened to your friend.  Thank You.    

[allmymarbles]

I can see why you would be upset, having lost 40 minutes of your life. But that is a very short period of time, probably too short for someone to have mussed your clothing, raped you, redressed you, etc. Also you have no bad feelings about anything having happened to you. Put this behind you and be more careful with yourself in the future.

[sadmomma4]

Well I don't think you were raped but there wouldn't necessarily be semen or anything, some rapists do use condoms now that they can be caught through DNA.  I have  been raped and you feel it afterwards, there is not much chance of being raped and not knowing or at least feeling it.  However, that being said, there is a very small possibility that the person who spoke to your friend was not the one with you the whole time, and perhaps saved you from being raped and it is very possible that you were molested in other ways.  I know someone that was so drunk (not roofied) that she passed out, and a friend came in to find a guy sticking his penis in her mouth while rubbing her vagina over her clothes - so nope she wasn't raped but she was violated, she remembers nothing and only knows because someone walked in and caught him.  You should always be careful when you are out and drinking.  I hope for your sake nothing at all happened.

[jo929]

would there not be some semen or something on your clothes to show, i would say that you were not raped but i really cant say for sure, it is dangerous to go to bars now it is so easy to slip something in a drink  luck  jo

[SensoryPeaceOfMind]

@HeyJude1

Great suggestion about the hypnotist.

I may just let it go.  I talked to a former rape victim and she told me you will feel it (i.e. vaginal stinging, etc.) if you are raped.  

I think I just got lucky this time.  I'm taking it as a sign that I need to not frequent bars anymore.  Time to get better hobbies!

[heyjude1]

I don't think of it very often anymore but still do time to time.  I have tried so many times to try and retrace the effents and stil come up a blank...like I said, you just have to let it go eventually because it is something you'll probably never know.  I suppose if it really bothers you, see a therapist and ask him to suggest a good hypnotist....that could bring back some memories unless you were fully unconscious???

[SensoryPeaceOfMind]

Thank you for all the replies everybody,  I really appreciate it.

@RockRose, I never did find out who put the roofie in my drink.  I contacted the bar after it happened.  They had no cameras or way of knowing.  

@HeyJude1,  How did you deal with the feeling of not knowing?  

This definitely has been a wake up call.  I do not even desire to go to bars and clubs anymore.  I think eventually I"ll get over that and when I do I am going to be extremely careful.  

[specialmom]

I doubt you were.  Most rapists do not call your friends to pick you up afterwards.  Is it possible you just drank too much and no one did anything sinister to you?  I think girls should have a pact when they go out together that they look out for one another and do check ins to make sure all is well.  Stick together, if possible.  And if you have a drink in a bar------  don't sit it down unattended.  You sound like you were lucky this time--------  hopefully that will never happen again.  good luck

[heyjude1]

It doesn't sound like you were raped but you'll never know for sure.  I had a similar situation years ago and to this day do not know what happened.

[margypops]

It is hard to tell, it may be a good idea not to frequent bars ,and not accept drinks from anyone ,I would think your body would tell you something had you been raped you were lucky, next time you may not be  ..

[RockRose]

I would say it seems very unlikely that someone who was that caring - comforting you,  calling your friend - raped you and put your clothes on perfectly again,  leaving no trace of having been there.  

Did you find out who put the roofie in your drink?