Abuse Support Community
2.16k Members
Avatar universal

Sexual abuse HELP!

My two almost three year old told me that her uncle (my 15 year old brother) made her suck his penis, I am so heart broken ! I called my mom right away and asked to talk to him about it and she said he complely denies it and even said he would take a lie detector test. It kills me not knowing  , I believe my daughter but I also don't want to accuse my brother without knowing the truth. What do I do. My daughter seems fine she said nothing happend to her, should I put her in counseling?
11 Responses
3060903 tn?1398565123
Yes, you absolutely need to take this to a child psychologist and a family doctor possibly, and upon their advice, make a decision as to whether to move forward. A child must have seen or heard something that had to do with these sexual acts. It is important to find out how .... others might say that it's imperative to contact police and by their discretion have your brother take the lie detector test...your brother is also a child that could be permanently harmed from such a suggestion, however, it is only right that a 3 year year' old's testimony needs to be taken seriously... it's a very hard position to be in, but the 3 year old and the 15 year old have the toughest journey ahead, calm minds must prevail to protect both these children. If the 15 year old did anything like that, he may have been a victim of sexual abuse himself... and acting out...
3060903 tn?1398565123
I'm confused, first you say this..

My two almost three year old told me that her uncle (my 15 year old brother) made her suck his penis,

then you say this...

My daughter seems fine she said nothing happend to her,

IF the incident occurred, even once, your child has come to GREAT HARM. AND DESPERATELY NEEDS PSYCHIATRIC SUPPORT AND POLICE INVOLVEMENT.

Talk to a therapist. If your brother did this it could be because of raging hormones even though at that age he should know better some kids tend to experiment...if he did it yes thats f up but u can also look at it as 1 ) protect your daughter and 2 get ur brother help.  btw what abusers is actually honest and says "I did it"...

My brother was around 22/23 yrs old when I was like 4/5 yrs old and started messing w me...I think through about age 9/10 I didnt tell anyone till my early 20's when it all came crashing back in in clips of memories. He molested at least one of his 3 daughters and did a short time in prison and made sexual advances toward other sisters as well as molesting at least one other...Most people thought he was a really good guy...I even loved him...heck he was my brother. Due to statute limitations at the time my memories came back nothing was ever done for what he did to me. Just a cpl months back he died of cancer...I went through about 3 weeks of a total wreck emotionally and total isolation...just trying to process it the only solace I found was that he could never hurt anyone again.

Please DO NOT ignore this. It is also possible that someone else has done this and she has named your brother because he's safe to her...but you do have to try and figure out what happened/ is happening to her. As her mother its your job to protect her.

Failing to do everything you can to help her and protect her can create criminal charges for you should it come up later on to someone who is not silent...Break the silence. Protect her.
3060903 tn?1398565123
13167 tn?1327194124
A two year old said her uncle made her suck his penis and then went on to say that nothing happened to her?

She sounds EXTREMELY advanced in language for her age.  

What exactly did she say?  All these words and descriptions are kind of beyond the verbal ability of a 2 year old.  
Well when our son had just turned 2, me and hubby worked out how many words he could say and understood. it come out to be around 400. He is now 3.5 and speaks in full (15+ word) sentences, and uses words like obviously, actually, of course, specifically in their correct contexts.
Avatar universal
Unless you are a mandatory reporter you are not required to report it.  Lie detector tests are garbage.  If this started as an odd statement from your 3 yr old, and you came to the conclusion you are at now by asking your child leading questions in a concerned and worried tone, then chances are you have already greatly influenced and molded your child's memory.  3 year old children are easily influenced and have significant flaws in their memory building process.
Avatar universal
Yes I would definitely recommend that you seek help of a child's counselor it would really help
Avatar universal
Look, I was abused at around 4 years old... The person said it was how to play mummy's and daddy's... And well that I wasn't able to tell my mum.. As a kid I would try to play mummy's and daddy's innocently in the way he did it (he didn't have sex with me, all I remember was he told me to pull my skirt down and lie on him. There's other things I remember inwhich I don't really want to go in detail) but throughout my life I realised as I got older that I was abused and it took me 12 years to finally tell my mum.. I didn't know what to do and it made me spiteful to things and made me not trust people ... Please please please don't let it go... She's your daughter as much as you'd hate to hear your brother has done something like that you need to find out... As her questions on how she knows what things are and stuff... Then ask her Alittle more.. I think you should speak to someone .. If not the police take her to a psychologist. Don't let her keep it to herself..
Psychologist often use play therapy to help get to the bottom of what is going on with the child.
Avatar universal
I won't tell you what to do. However, let me ask you these questions:
how does your 2 year old know how to describe that sex act?  
Do you know what the definition of age of consent? Definition of molestation and or rape among children?
Have you read how molestation and or crossing these lines impact a child later?  
What is best for your daughter?
Would a professional or the legal system have a better way to vet the truth?  who should determines if your brother is telling the truth?
What is the consequence for your daughter if you don't investigate and this actually happened and don't find treatment?
What is the consequence for your brother if he is guilty and continues to walk this road?
This is very hard as this is your family. I'm sorry you are faced with such a hard issue.
Avatar universal
I have been through this. I wasted years of my life trying to get justice for my son. My sons father did horrible things to him. He doesnt see him anymore. The police did not help me and believed the father. It was a nightmare. I got full custody by Gods grace. My son has many emotional problems from the abuse. I suggest you provide support for your daughter through therapy and dont waste your time and take years off your life by trying to navigate the legal system. Keep her away from that boy!!
Avatar universal
A two year old almost 3 would not make something like this up. I would get help for your brother n you're child. And really theses days you can't trust anyone never ever leave your child alone with anyone. I hate to say this but there are too many sick people in this world not saying your brother is but for your peace of mind if you are with your child you don't ever have to wonder
Avatar universal
He did it, if you ask yourself, what's the first answer that comes to mind. You know deep down otherwise you would not be writing. Kids don't  lie about abuse. Shes very brave for speaking up. Don;t deny her that - she needs you to believer her. She trusts her mom to help her. Go to the police immediately- she may have said she;s fine because when she saw your reaction she got scared. Victims of abuse are frightened and taught to protect their abuser by the abuser! Your mom knows more than she;s letting on for her to deny this and be defensive, -normal reaction is caring  And to be  alarmed at this news- as a normal mom would! Report this right away and keep her away from him. I;m very sorry this happened to you and your sweet daughter!!!!
Have an Answer?
Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.
These common ADD/ADHD myths could already be hurting your child