Trust Issues

[Sarah1013]

Im sure a lot of you are going through this as well. My ex was cheating on me along with all the abuse and its all taken a seious toll on my self esteem. I've gotten back to a point where I feel good about myself, but Im still having problems with how other people feel about me. When Im with a new guy I always wonder if he really likes me and whether he would cheat or already has a girlfriend. I have major trust issues and its hurting my new relationships because I always wonder these things. I dont say anything about them because I dont want the guy to know I dont trust him because there's no reason for me to not trust him.

Any advice?

[Nighthawk61]

Hi Jadey, the person whose post you answered hasn't had any activity on her thread for 4 years since Dec. 2009 :(

It sounds like you're having trust issues with your boyfriend as well, and I'm sorry about that. You've mentioned that there are pass code locks on his phone and that bothers you. It would bother me as well, especially after three years, and if I actually saw him making calls and lowering his voice, or going into another room when he makes or receives calls. I've learned that this type of drama in a relationship is a red flag. My second late husband was all about "his' friends, while my current husband is totally transparent. I definitely prefer the latter. Just always remember Jadey, it is your choice as to what you want to accept in a relationship, and it almost always works out for the better if you make it your business to hold out for a man whose habits are closer to your own. If you ever need to talk, please message me, i'll be there for you.

Please think about posting your own question on the Relationship site. I don't know if this would be considered abuse, but it definitely is a relationship problem that many can probably chime in and give you their ideas on the subject. It really helps to make friends on here. Hope your enjoying the spring weather. It's freezing still where i come from. Brrrr

[Jadey90]

Hi sarah im having the same problem as you with trusting part i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years but im still finding it hard to trust for no reason at all i theres evidence that makes me want to investigate like a pass code lock on a phone or certain stuff i feel as if i need to find out if theres any messages other wise he's hiding something he says i dont know why i have to keep explaining to u that nothings going on i hope it works out for u its hard trusting people because u put yourself out there and then get hurt and its not good fir confidence or self esteem all the best hope it works out

[Sarah1013]

You do realize Im not talking about my abuser right?

[Sarah1013]

I know I like him. If I didnt like him I wouldnt care whether he liked me or not. Its just I cant trust anybody even when I have no reason in the world not to.

[allmymarbles]

I should think that instead of wondering whether he likes you, you should focus on whether you like him. You have things backwards.