Your mother is a Natcissist and it is her that needs therapy, the best way to heal from a narcissist is to cut them out of your life and learn to love yourself.
To second what RockRose says, though she said it somewhat neutrally, please do know that you aren't expected to worship your parent. You are expected to treat them with respect, and to love them if you can, but walking around feeling overtly grateful all the time is a whole heck of a lot to ask. I would be worried if my son was saying "Thank you for taking care of me" all the time to me, as I think that is my role, and he should be able to rely on me to do it. Maybe your mom has a touch of thinking you're supposed to be overtly thankful at all times, and if so, I'm sorry, that would be a tough burden to carry. Again, see if she will go to counseling with you, and try to talk some of this out.
I wanted to mention that her expecting you to check in often might have to do with her caring, not controlling. A lot of moms are worried that when their kid is out of their sight, either something will happen to them or they will be exposed to bad things or get in a position to make bad choices. I wouldn't beef too much if your parent is strict regarding things like needing to know who you are with and expecting you to be home at a certain time. It's better for your safety. If it is taken to an extreme (such as demanding you not have friends and always be at home) that is different, but it didn't sound like you were saying that.
She sounds like she has a mood disorder, or maybe menopausal stress, or marital problem anxiety (you don't mention a father at all, so I don't know what situation is for her).
The interesting thing in life is, some people who are have difficult parents are gravely affected by it, and can never recover, even in adulthood.
Some people who have difficult parents seem to glide right through it, seeing things clearly and still having self-confidence and joy in life. You're like those people.
If I were you, I wouldn't spend much time researching the effects of having a difficult parent relationship. That just further embraces the problem, and makes it a part of you, instead of a part of her.
Were you adopted from a foreign country orphanage, instead of as an infant in the US? That's kind of an interesting dynamic, and might shed some light on your mom. Some parents who adopt from orphanages (not all) want to "rescue" a child. And have that child forever grateful. That's not how it works, children aren't forever grateful, they need help and care and then the parent becomes angry and hurt that the child who should be worshipping them isn't, they're just acting like a normal kid. Does that ring true to you?
The problems you have with your mother probably have nothing to do with being adopted. There are plenty of biological mothers who behave in the identical manner. I know because I had one. They have something a little wrong in the upper story. With time my mother never changed.
You probably fear that you will be just like her. Don't worry about that. I am one of five. Four of us do not have her ugly traits. But there is a fifth who has what we call "the gene." And it might well be a gene.
I would say the same thing as Annie that some counselling here would help her a lot, she sounds like she is needy and wants to be reassured by you all the time which I appreciate is hard , so try to get her to speak to someone who will help .The remarks she says to you are not nice and she needs to address the issue .
Well, it doesn't sound very nice, what she is doing. Not so much the getting angry, since everyone has a right to flare up with a temper every now and then. But the language, calling you names like "dumb and worthless," and claiming that you must have come from some terrible background, and saying you're stupid, those things can stick and become erosive to your self-esteem. Can you talk to her about going to a counselor together? If she's willing to, I'd start to keep a journal or even use a tape recorder in your pocket, so some of the language she uses when she is angry is on record. (The last thing you want to do is have an argument in front of a counselor that was about the words she uses, with her saying she doesn't use those words and you saying she does.) If she could tone down her angry language and hurled accusations, and learn some better ways to communicate with you, it sounds like there is enough affection still there that it would carry the day.