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Avatar universal

When i was 4 my 12 year old cousin "touched" me, wondering what it would be called.

so first off i'm 16 years old and when i was a little girl, (about 4) my 12 year old male cousin and i, along with my mom and her mom, and maybe my sister who would have been 2, were camping, and one night, i went to use the bathroom, which was outside, in the open, when i lifted up the lid to a cooler that was set in the ground, which i at the time thought the lid was a really round and flat white stone, he looked out the camper window at me and said i see you, him, being the only cousin i had on that side of the family, was a major role model, i remember i used to say "when i grow up, i'm going to marry ____ or patrick (patrick was my across the street neighbor back when we lived further in town) well when my cousin went to go use the outhouse, i naturally wanted to follow my cousin (who was pretty much my best friend) so i pretty much begged him to let me come, so i went with him down the rocky road in bare feet, past 10:00 at night (remember, i'm 4, it's pretty late) and he used the outhouse, after he went in, i went in (i guess i wanted to copy him) but i think i asked him to hold the door for me, anyways, i then asked him to come in with me, he eventually bent down and asked if he could touch me (as in my vagina) and i said yes, he then asked if he could lick it, and i let him do that to, after telling him to try it with his finger first (if memory serves right) i WAS 4 so i probably assumed it was the same rule as food, try a little first to see if you like it, i don't know how long we were in the outhouse, i don't why he stopped there, he could have done whatever, i never thought anything of it, not even 3 years later when i told my mom, the reason she didn't already know was because he took my hiking stick i had picked up on the way to the outhouse and held it high above his head and made me promise not to tell, so when we got back to nana (my mom's mom)'s trailer, i woke my mom up and told her what he tolf me to say if she asked; "i went on a walk with ___" then we went to bed, actually i think we shared a bed, but i know we used to share a room at nana's house. 3 years later, i'm 7 years old, i share a room with my sister, she's asleep on the bottom bunk, and i call for my mom, because i had just made a promise to myself "i'm going to tell my mom everything" you know cause secrets are dangerous, anyway, she told me to come down and tell her, i told her through tears, thinking she was going to hate me, she finally got me to tell her, "tell me before daddy comes up" (he was in the sauna) and i told her, i think she yelled for my dad, next thing i remember is them (my parents) talking, my mom was on the phone, probably with my aunt, who by then had had a daughter, who would have been 3, and another, either on the way or just arrived, which are the younger siblings to ____, and i remember my mom saying something along the lines of "no, how would she make this up/imagine this she's 7!"
eventually the police finnaly got a statement out of me, no idea what happened after that, i started counselling, ran into him there once, he was in the waiting room after my session had finished, i remember my therapist yelling "THAT's ___?!" and then his appointment times all got changed. now here i am, 12 years after the initial _____ (whatever it's called, i want a specific term) at 11:59 PM asking what the hell what happened to me is called, and now it's 12:00 AM. Thanks fpr any help!
5 Responses
134578 tn?1602101550
Are you saying he was arrested?
The reason I ask is because you would be able to know what it was called (the thing that happened to you) if he had been arrested and you were able to find out what he was charged with.  It might be that he was charged on the general category "child molestation."
13167 tn?1327194124
I'm not sure she would be able to find out what the charges were,  since he was a minor at the time.  

I'm so curious,  though,  of all the questions you might ask (was he charged with a crime?  did he serve time in jail?  does everyone believe me? has he acknowledged what happened) you are solely focused on what the incident would be called.

I agree with AnnieBrooke it would be called "Child molestation" but I'm not sure why it's such a high priority question for you.  Is there something else of more substance that you'd want cleared up but are afraid to ask?
13167 tn?1327194124
And if you really are only curious about what the incident was called,  is your mother still available so you could ask her?
Avatar universal
Sounds like molestation to me because you were touched in a sexually impropriate manner. I would ask my mom for the outcome of the police report(if one was filed).
Avatar universal
It could be something like rape and something along that line. Do you stll see him? Cause in the future you might see him again and could ask him "What the He*l were you thinking I was 4 you were 12! That's not good and you should apologize fro sexual contact.
Hey there, welcome!  Right?  OMG< can you imagine family gatherings as time goes on thinking an older cousin did this to you?
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