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10590340 tn?1411280553

Wife for 6 years beatings,after loss of son

I have been married for 6 years i am 26 years old ,my husband is 49 years old .I will admit I am petite and i have went to the e.r many times and i love him! I leave and i have been to shelters and hospitalized many times. the issue is he is a cop, and this makes it very hard on me because hjis buddies are all alike it seems like i am a robot ,cooking,cleaning,taking care of kid, and im in a daze have been put on Valium for severe anxiety disorder and I have post traumatic disorder. I relive the loss of our baby boy daily and its killing me slowly but surely. I always come back and i don't fear death , i do fear my daughter growing up and thinking it is acceptable behavior.He takes it behjind closed doors , it has been so violent that I have ran like a scared animal hiding in the near by woods i am not here for sympathy i do know i some how vcan stop this i just need some help please advise please i am at my end
7 Responses
Avatar universal
There is NO WAY AROUND IT!

You must save your self and daughter! Only you know the best way to do that, but when you do, never, EVER look back.

God bless
8976007 tn?1413334250
pack an emergency bag.  have money, your important papers, pictures, few items of clothing for you and your daughter.  have it hidden, but accessible to you at a moments notice.  

stash money in there.  even if just a couple dollars at a time. HOARD money. make a plan on where you would go.  have a throw away, pay by the minute phone in the bag as well.  just put some minutes on it.  that way he won't have your number.  leave your phone at home in case he has gps activated.

you need to be careful.  they get like animals when you leave.  they are losing control and they don't like it.

you owe it to your daughter to get out of there.  too many stories on the news about men killing their wives.  the fact that he is a cop makes him that more dangerous because he KNOWS better, yet he disregards the law.

get the hell out
10590340 tn?1411280553
Thank you so much for this and I have taken the actions you give me advice and i needed it so very much! Thank you
10590340 tn?1411280553
Thank you for taking time to read and I am making steps to do this safely as possible! thanks for the advice and i will make it out i will
535822 tn?1443980380
I agree with the others here...leave..he wont change and you will be so sorry if you stay ...it takes courage to change thinks ...believe in yourself and o the right thing ...good luck
13167 tn?1327197724
You've clearly left before,  and successfully made it to shelters before.  Just do what you did then,  but don't come back.  It sounds like you already understand how to make it to a safe shelter.
3060903 tn?1398568723
If not for yourself, leave and stay gone, for your daughter. Be the hero she needs. I'm so sorry about your son :( Know that he awaits you in heaven. . Plan to talk more when you leave again. You need to plan on doing some things different than what you did before when you went to the shelter, in order to make it a permanent move.

I know that the more you talk about and plan a long term result with a mentor the more likely you are to succeed.
The more you open yourself up to making friends with other women who may be stronger than you can help a great deal.
I don't know if it's possible to move out of state, but it's certainly should be discussed as to your taking shelter away from the immediate area that your husband works and resides. (at least while you are arranging a permanent home).

You are not too old to get out and salvage your life. If you do not work, and have a limited education, this would be the time to rectify that situation. Getting student loans, might be EXACTLY what you need to get an apartment or share a house. Finding someone to share house expense, and babysitting might be a great way to get started. You won't be as lonely, nor as likely to go back if you have company and support. I sure wish you the best. As a child of abuse, i can assure you that your daughter will not be in the dark as to what's going on with her parents. , or certainly not for long. So, if you are down on yourself (you said you don't fear death so maybe you are a fatalist at this point), leave for your daughter, so the pattern of abuse was stopped by her mother. Be that role model, that kind of hero. These pricks find other women. Many say that they would kill if you left, but most just find a replacement. The thing that might be confusing you is that he says he loves you, ans so you go back, you stay. The fact is, he doesn't love you and he won't miss you. He'll simply replace his punching bag. What is even more fun that beating a mate that a man has come to despise, is the intrigue of a new mate and sexual exploit.

You deserve so much better. I hope you stay on here and make some friends. If only I had medhelp when these things were happening to me.
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13167 tn?1327197724
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