abuse

[inneedofhelp82]

Told my useless excuse of a mother that i was abused as a child you know what she said I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE, WHEN I AM GONE WILL SHE BELIEVE ME? There is nothing i can do but cry i am devastated, hurt and angry, i have lived with the shame of this for years and now she doesn't believe me, how cruel is she? Sorry if i offend anyone i just had to put it out somewhere.

[ccann00]

If it helps you could tell your story on here where you know people care

[specialmom]

Oh, this is so painful on some different levels.  Deep down, no matter how old we are, we expect our mom's to protect us.  We expect them to be on OUR side-------- no matter what.  As a child, this abuse happened.  Our subconscious asks---------- where was she?  Often their are signs that someone is being abused.  Many women will over look them due to their own weaknesses.  They can't support themselves.  They are codependent with a dysfunctional partner. They have their own hang ups.  So they are blind to it and make excuses for the signs they see or changes that come about in their kids. And then-------  as an adult, they are confronted with it.  We then feel betrayed all over again. Unprotected as a wee one and then denied that parent to stand up for us as an adult.  It hurts.  


Some adult women when they hear of their child being abused feel like they can't face that because they are aware of their own failures or they just feel like a failure.  They protect themselves subconsciously by saying it didn't happen.  I don't say that as an excuse for your mom but just so you may understand what might be going on.  As Iam1butterfly put so well--------  denial is the only response.

Do you see a therapist?  I think it would so help to see a counselor about this.  Inside us, we are all those same little kids that were hurt.  And as adults, we need to stand up for that little girl.  This doesn't mean ending all contact with your mother-------  or having fights with her about it, but instead, doing what you need to do to heal yourself.  Therapy can be very powerful in that process.  I agree as well that if there are any family members you can trust to support you, I'd reach out to them.

I'm so sorry.  Wish I could give you a big hug.  Think about seeing the therapist and take care of your self.  Be good to yourself--------  peace.

[inneedofhelp82]

No one else knows about it and it was so hard to tell her i will never tell anyone again after what she said, it took me years to accept it and then for her to say that, its not worth the hassle. Thanks for your replies

[iam1butterfly]

...for those who can't handle the truth, denial is the only response. Have you spoken with other family members about the abuse? Perhaps, they could offer compassion and support. As for your mom, I'm not sure that I'd even broach the topic with her again... it may only add more insult to injury.

[beauty3]

Just be more open with her & let her know how upset & angry you r that she doesn't believe u.