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Avatar universal


my boyfriend is upset at me because i compare him to the man that raped me
9 Responses
1696489 tn?1370821974
OWCH, that is hurtful to both of you.  I suggest you see a thereapist so you can talk through your issues about the rape, and to learn how to cope in an apprpriate manner, hun. - Blu
13167 tn?1327194124
I would think he would be very upset by that.  
134578 tn?1614729226
Do you mean, in a sad moment you are saying to him that having sex reminds you of the rape?  Or do you mean that in a fight you yell that all men are alike and he is just as much of a pig as the rapist?  It makes some difference.  But even if it were the first, I would go see a therapist, not tell my boyfriend that he resembles a rapist.
3060903 tn?1398565123
It's really hard to have a sexual relationship after rape. I'm so sorry :(  You should take it slow and work with a therapist. Is your boyfriend not being sensitive to the fact it's hard for you to have a sexual relationship right now? Was the rapist brought to justice?
5039239 tn?1364024671
Maybe the boyfriend isn't making you feel secure. Are you feeling pressured for sex? My daughter felt like this with her last boyfriend and I told her she needs someone more affectionate, hugs and holding hands, maybe just talking. You don't have to feel pressured into sex with anyone. It is something ( you) must feel comfortable with. Talk to your doctor about this, it might help to confirm your feelings.
757137 tn?1347196453
.Ouch. Poor, harmless boyfriend.
Avatar universal
He's a really understanding boyfriend. He's the one that helped me come out to my parents about the situation. Since I am an illegal immigrant, we did not want to police to get involved. (I've been in this country since I was 7, I am 21 now). When my parents found out recently, they kicked him (my uncle that rapes me) out the house immediately. When I compared my boyfriend to him, he got really upset, but 3 days after, when I saw him he just held me and asked me if I feel pressured, I told him sometimes. He then explained to me that I need to talk to him and that he never wants me to feel that way. He then said if I have anything I want to talk about to talk to him and let him know what's happening, that I need to trust him and share my experience. He the. Said even if we break up ( not
Avatar universal
Going to happen, his words) to still come to him and talk to him. All in all he is a wonderful person. I just need to accept that this happen and I cannot do anything about it. That I need to move on and be happy. (His words) thanks guys :)
Avatar universal
He is really a very nice person and don't let him go from your life.
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13167 tn?1327194124
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